When do you begin to worry? Smiley17: If you're dating someone who is unemployed, and other people offer jobs, and you make a suggestion or two, and he's still unemployed, when do you begin to worry?
If it's been over a month, do you ask more questions, or just leave it alone?
What if you begin to get annoyed with it, but you're not sure if you should push the issue?
What in the world do you do? ???
Re: When do you begin to worry? WhiskeyGirl: Hey smiley :) I can imagine it would get annoying....heres the thing, he has panic disorder right? So getting a new job, working with new people, a new boss, learning something new, etc. ...all freaking terrifying to someone like him. I know...I AM "like him" LOL He is going to put it off until someone boots his ass out of his comfort zone, seriously. I'm not sure how you should handle this one :-\ Mabey its too soon to start pushing him, I don't really know, depends on how close you guys have become and how much he trusts you. How is he paying his bills? The money's gonna run out sooner or later, mabey thats what it will take and you wont have to say anything. Hard to say, but if it looks like its going to go on indefinately, and nobody else is saying/doing anything about it....you may have to be the one. It will be hard for him at first but if he has your support and understanding it will make it easier. Almost like he's standing at the edge of a cliff and you give him a shove....then run down to the bottem to catch him....he'll thank you for it in the end ;) The longer he stays in that comfort zone the harder its gonna be to shove him out of it, don't brush it under the carpet for too long.
Good luck, Girl!! Keep us posted :)
Re: When do you begin to worry? Bubba: I would honestly begin to wonder. What is he saying about it.
Do you mind paying for everything? Would be on the hook for all dates? In other words, do you mind being in what traditionally was a males role. Guys are use to paying for more or less everything, at least at the beginning of the relationship. Are willing to take over that role?
Bubba
Re: When do you begin to worry? Smiley17: To answer your questions:
WG - He only has panic attacks when he tries to drive, at least that's what he told me, and we're not that close yet. There is still a lot that I have to learn about him. So, I'm really not sure about pushing it. He's on unemployment, so he's getting some income, but still...
Bubba - Yeah, I kind of mind being in the male role, although I haven't had to be in that role yet. If we have to go 50/50 - great, but me paying the entire way, no. So far, we've almost split things down the middle. Him paying more than I do.
Back to WG, I'm afraid of him settling into that comfort zone. I don't want him to be there, and I've dropped hints like, "I'd go crazy if I didn't work." I didn't say it in a snobby way, it was part of a my not being able to relax conversation, so it wasn't just brought up. He says he's beginning to go crazy, but is he really? He tells me that he's bored and needs something to do, but I'm not sure if he's trying.
All I know is that I don't want to worry about something like this too soon, and if it's a lazy thing, I'm going to cry!!
It just feels like it's starting to become a problem, but is it mine, or his?
Re: When do you begin to worry? AfterMath: Hey I've Met GG and he is a real good guy. I don't know quite how to say this so I'm just gonna: Be carefull, OK?
