My 5th Anniversary today Chey: This is the second anniversary I've had since I left him...and yet this one hit harder than the previous one. I think because it was barely weeks after I had left him when I went through the first one, and I was still recovering (physically and emotionally) from my departure.
Now that it's been a year...I've spent the last week mourning my marriage...angry as all hell.
At him for not giving me my divorce,
for not signing the papers,
for not being the husband he SHOULD be,
for forcing me to restart my life at 34,
for being the only person I ever fell in love with and letting me down,
for being the only person I ever hated so much in my life,
for allowing me to fall in love with his children and then making life so awful I left them. I ache for them every day.
for making me doubt my own self worth
.......and now I start over again, and I realise I'm in a better place now than I have been in 4 years.
I just need today to mourn. Today is the funeral of my marriage. Not my divorce day, but today.
Chey
Re: My 5th Anniversary today dulok68: Just popped back to see how you were doing, and this was first post on the board.
Have heart chuck!
[quote"> for being the only person I ever fell in love with and letting me down,
for being the only person I ever hated so much in my life,
[/quote">
I know that one - the conflict inside drives you nuts.
[quote"> I realise I'm in a better place now than I have been in 4 years.
[/quote">
Go girly Go!
Re: My 5th Anniversary today YellowJacket: We're all here for you, Chey. Remember that you've now moved UP in the world and have left those problems behind. Try to let your thoughts be only positive and only remember how much of a better place you are in now. 34 is not that old and there is plenty of time to start over and make things so much better this time!
In a few more years you'll look back and this will be a day of celebration, not mourning.
By all means, don't doubt your self worth. He treated you poorly and that's about who he is, not who you are. It doesn't matter who you are when you're stuck with a person like him.
Re: My 5th Anniversary today dgiirl: [quote author=Chey link=topic=19568.msg178423#msg178423 date=1128082648">
for making me doubt my own self worth
[/quote">
This is probably the most important lesson we should learn from divorce. We have to know who we are and NOT let other's tell us who we are. We have to believe in ourselves, love ourselves, and accept ourselves. The only person we spend this entire life with is ourselves. When we forget who we are, we'll never achieve what we're meant to achieve. You are going on the right track! You know it. You know life has become better. You just keep doing what you're doing and you will achieve what you want out of life. A happy loving fulfilled joyous life.
Re: My 5th Anniversary today Chey: [quote author=dulok68 link=topic=19568.msg178430#msg178430 date=1128084168">
Just popped back to see how you were doing, and this was first post on the board.
Have heart chuck