Re: I hate being single Beachchick: I'm dating right now....and it's sucks. I met one guy I life, but he and I can't get it together.
My husband was a jerk, and it was unhealthy. I blew it, and miss the relationship. I miss him.
What I hate even more, is when someone tells me "One day you will be happy".
That day will never come...and I believe it's a bunch of shit. I hate this...and I hate people even more for talking about "Karma", "or one day he will get his". He won't get his. I won't get mine.
My biggest fear in life, is I will never be happy again. I don't remember what it feels like.
Re: I hate being single YellowJacket: [quote author=Beachchick link=topic=20065.msg189293#msg189293 date=1129529135">
My biggest fear in life, is I will never be happy again. I don't remember what it feels like.
[/quote">
It's very difficult sometimes. Maybe most of the time. One thing that I started concentrating on after my separation was finding happiness in very small things that I used to take for granted.
For example, I take my puppy out on the balcony and hold him up so he can look down on the world two floors below. When a person walks another dog by he gets so happy and watches that dog until it is no longer in site.
I'm learning to take little things like this and consider it a good day because I have them. It takes some effort for me to try to learn to be happy this way but it seems to be paying off little by little.
It can be trying at times not being in a relationship but there are so many other things out there that we can try to enjoy instead..... some of which I wasn't even taking the time to notice before.
Re: I hate being single YellowJacket: [quote author=teacherwriterguy link=topic=20065.msg189465#msg189465 date=1129575608">
Crud. This was a long post after all, wasn't it?
[/quote">
....and a good one!
Re: I hate being single teacherwriterguy: Starting this post over because I got too wordy (again) - I can't seem to write a short post. Anyway, here goes:
Dating seems like a horrid ordeal immediately after a breakup because, bad relationship or not, being in a relationship is 'easy'. You know you are in it. You don't have to take risks, force yourself into unfamiliar territory.
It's normal to loathe the idea of being uncomfortable in the dating scene and to crave the ease of being in a relationship.
However, for me, the turning point was really when I had my first post-divorce crush on someone. It wasn't someone I ever dated. Wasn't even someone unattached - she had a boyfriend. I never said a word about it to her, wouldn't have been appropriate.
But my lightbulb moment was going, "Oh. That's the kind of person I'd like to date at some point." It made me realize that people who interest me exist out there - I had living, breathing proof.
For me, the next step was looking at a few dating sites - I didn't sign up for anything. Just looked at faces and profiles and went, "Hmm... that person and that person and that person look interesting to me. If I were on the site, I'd probably write them."
Somewhere around that time, I met TWGFB here at Ojar. I think my brain was finally ready to process real possibilities and accept them and serendipity brought the right person along at the right time.
Just realize it's a process and it's okay for it to feel yuck and overwhelming right now.
Crud. This was a long post after all, wasn't it?
twg
Re: I hate being single SleeplessInOhio: I love being single...
except
when its time to go to bed...no one to cuddle with or keep me warm
or
when i want to go to eat and all my friends are busy..hate eating alone
or
when i have a really bad day and just want to hear that voice on the other end that lets me know it will be ok
thats what i miss.
but other than that...the whole single thing is interesting...a nice change.
