Stuck in Limbo narca: This is an continuation from a post I put up way back in early July. My wife had cheated on my after 14yrs of marriage. We have 2 kids (ages 10 and 7) and before she cheated things seemed to be going fine. Until she admitted she was in love with someone else and after trying to work it out for over a year, she finally cheated on me (the whole story is under a post titled "slow torture".) After she cheated on me, she came back and wanted forgiveness and work things out. Still being in love and wanting to do whatever it takes to keep the family together I forgave her. The first couple of weeks went ok, but then 4 weeks later she cheated on me again with the same guy. After that she once again came back and asked forgiveness. I did because if there's any chance of keeping my family together then I'll take it. It's been almost 6 weeks since I forgave her the last time and things seemed to be headed in the right direction. Problem is she gets in those moods where it seems she wants to go back to the other guy. I've confronted her and she says she is trying to stay with me and the family, but she can't just stop her feelings. She says it is going to take time to lose them. Now I'm wondering if I made the right decision to forgive her or if I should of just kicked her out. I want to keep the family together, but I don't want to just prolong what could be a divorce. Am I being impatient. I know things will never be the same, but at the same time I beginning to question my feelings. I want to love her and hate her at the same time. Is she going to really stay this time or eventually go? Just ranting....in limbo.....
Re: Stuck in Limbo PnR: Sorry for what you are going through. I'm no expert but it sounds like you are letting her get away with it and as long as you do she will continue to walk all over you. I suppose it's difficult when you have a family involved.
Re: Stuck in Limbo KdUb: Hmmmm, not sure what I can add. My situation is similar only no kids and my wife didn't really even put forth ANY effort to work things out so my decision was easy....or easier rather.
Can you move? Get outta state - outta town? I wanted to move if me and my wife stayed together. Just to get the OM out of our lives for good. ZERO CONTACT.
If you get a divorce and let her go. Think of it as a new beginning to the rest of your life rather than the end of your current life. It really helped me to do what I had to.
Keegan
Re: Stuck in Limbo Mart: Hi,
Have you and her seen a therapist together? It seems that she is confused. She wants to stay with you but also wants that other relationship.
Please do not let her continue walking all over you. She is disrespecting you in a big way by continuing to do the same "error".
Mart
Re: Stuck in Limbo KdUb: I'm sure counceling has come up in convo. no? Mine wasn't up for it and just thought it was over so I didn't even get a shot at it but if you can, give it a shot.
Keegan
