Accept it? slh236: Accept it. Yes, I can do that. Like it? Not on your life.
I understand that you weren't happy. I understand that you had reservations about marrying me. I guess that is why I can accept that you broke it off.
But I cannot bring myself to like this situation. You are everything I have ever wanted out of a woman. You are smart, you are funny. You are so caring to everyone that it makes my heart swell with joy just to see you interacting with others. You are beautiful. You sing with such joy, such love. You are so musical that it makes me smile when you play anything, whether it is the piano or any of your self taught instruments. When I see how you are with your nephew, and your pastors children, I see the person I want to be the mother of my children. You are the person that I can see myself waking up next to every day forever. You are the person I can see bouncing my grandchildren on her knees. You are the person I want to be holding my hand when I pass away 70 years down the road.
All of which makes it so hard for me to let go.
So yes, I can accept that you have so easily moved on. Everything for you is all exciting and new. But I cannot do that for myself. It is not easy to love and love and love and then be broken and discarded like an old toy. My heart is more than broken. It is shattered into pieces. And the saddest, most pitiful thing is that every single piece of my heart loves you just as much as it always has. I would walk through fire for you. Take a bullet for you. Die in battle to protect you.
So yes, you have moved on. Yes, you have a new love now. But know this. If he breaks your heart, if he hurts you like you hurt me... I will break him. Because even though you hurt me, even though I am filled with pain and heartache right now, I still love you, and I don't want to see you hurt in any way.
S
Re: Accept it? slh236: You're welcome.
Wow... Bree: I wish I didn't want to see my husband hurt, but I do. I still love him, but my hurt and his disregard for it won't allow me to feel that way. I'm glad you are in a better place.
Re: Accept it? slh236: It may change with time... It may not... But right now, I would be willing to beat that loser to within an inch of his life, give him a few months to heal, and then do it all over again if he hurts her.
Re: Accept it? slh236: Um... Is there a forum for 'sent letters?' Cause I sent this one.
S
