Absolutely crazy decision wolly1234: If you dont want to read al long one, escape now.
I am thinking about making a life altering,(IE-possible mistake) Decision. To explain this, I'll have to tell a bit more about where I am and how I got here. I'll try my best to get to the point.
I left because I couldn't take any more. Not another single day. I tried everything I knew how, counseling, begging, pleading, negotiating,, the whole shebang. It didn't work.
I tried 110%, till I couldn't try anymore. When I quit,, I really quit. I took what cash I could without hurting them,(the kids, hers), packed a little black gym bag, Took our Blazer and drove to one hour parking at the airport, and flew 1700 miles away. MD to AZ.(the planet mars with cactus) It was 112 degrees when I landed, but hey! It's a dry heat. I went from 40K a year to $5.15/Hr. $15 couch, and a matress on the floor, from a home,, my home,, 3br house in the middle of the woods at the tip of the Chesapeake Bay. My paradise. My lifes dream. Wife, kids, home, pure bred Sheppard. Fritz.
But things come and go, right?
I just lost my job, after 6 months. Wasn't much of a job, anyway. But it did pay the rent. I wasn't ready to pick up on the rat race. I had been through so very much. I was grieving. I couldn't use my brain, it wasn't working very well.
I am not a stupid man. I am a hard worker. I was a Electronics Tech in the service. High ranking one. (E-5). Served my country for 5 years. There just isn't any work here. Landed in the wrong place. But this is where my mother is. Last relative I really have left. I even miss my inlaws. My brother in law was the best brother in law a man could ask for. Understood his sister was !@$#ed up.
So, here I am. Rent will be due on the 3rd. I dont have a job. Even if I started tomorrow. I wouldn't make it.
I'm thinking about the Peace Corp. Crazy, huh? I'm a repulican!
I figure I have nothing left to lose. Except the couch, and the mattress.
It would give me 2 years to grieve, probally in a tent. I just don't care anymore. I fought for so long. If any of you think you really gave 100%, I'm here to tell you what drained really is. I saved nothing for myself. Mistake.
I figure what could help my self asteem more than devoting 2 years of my life to helping others. How would I have time to feel bad? WHen I came back, I would have had 2 years to figure out exactly who the hel.l I am . ANd what I want. Maybe I would meet a woman with convictions, for those of us that know the positive usage of that word. These days there don't seem to be many, except on this site.
Anyone, especially you old hippies, know of anyone ever doing that?
My grandfather is a card carrying member of the National Rep. Committee, go figure.
I am not home right now, anyway. I think it would be a good thing.
Curious what you guys think.....
Re:Absolutely crazy decision wolly1234: PS: I hope I don't scare anybody. I come here to let it all hang out. To be honest. I have my dark days. too. My deepest feelings,
Re:Absolutely crazy decision PiscesGoddess: Oh wolly... Ive been reading your story..so sorry for the hell you've been through..breaks my heart :'(
As for the peace corps...hm... I dont know you..but...I'll give you my 2 pennies anyway.. Make sure that if you do make this decision..ITS BECAUSE YOU WANT TO..and not just to escape.. You have already moved to get away..and then investing 2 years of your life in something...when you just got out of investing your life in something... hmm...not sure if thats a good idea.. ::) Im all for getting out of our pain and trying to help others..but you sooo need more time to heal.. and it can take awhile..
I moved soon after my divorce..thinking it would all just go away..and it didnt..The ghosts followed me..I got involved in a dead end relationship and now find myself moving back to my home city.. (but not to my ex..thank GOD!)... blah..I am rambling.. I just wanted to say if its something YOU TRULY want to do..then GO for it.. but if its just an escape mechanism.. believe me..the pain follows you... I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make..its a bumpy journey...but we will all make it.
Hugs..
Pisces Goddess
Re:Absolutely crazy decision EZ: Wally
man do i ever feel your pain brother
i have to jump in on this thread for 2 reasons >>>. first i am that old hippie and second the peace corp.
the peace corp..... great great great idea.......... at this time ???? NO NO NO
take at least 1 year before you make any life decisions OK
just like Safety told you " it will get better"
my brother it will get better
Peace and Love to you always
Re:Absolutely crazy decision Spectrum: Yeah, I'd have to say that the peace corps idea may SEEM nice, but....
Once you're in, you're IN. And it is a nice romantic idea to help others, but you really just don't know where you are going to end up.
And, when you get back, you still have to figure out what you want to do, plus you've lost any ability you had to get a job in your former field of expertise.
My good friend's brother did the peace corps thing. He had a master's in wildlife biology, and he ended up chasing poachers in a park in Uganda. He got malaria. After two years, he didn't know what to do, so he signed up for another two. Then he got malaria again. Ugh.
Now he is working as a manager at a bagle shop and getting a new degree. I don't think he'd do the peace corps thing again if he could do it over again.
Spectrum.
