Even after all this...i still love her...why ??? no more tears: I dont know if anybody remembers me but i posted a couple months back about my X leaving me and moving away. I was devastated...we was together 7 years and she dumped me and moved 10 hours away. Well it had been about 2 months and i was just starting to get out the rut i was in when she finally called out of the blue. It was so great just to hear her voice...it was like all the feelings that i thought were leaving me came back in a flash just by hearing her voice...her laugh....
The conversations we had were great and we started talking about getting back together. We both vowed we would do what it takes to make us work. If something worked for 7 years then surely it can work again right ? Needless to say i was on cloud 9....i put my 2 weeks notice in at work....tied up all loose ends at home....sold some possesions....sent her money so we would have a house to live in ( she was living with her family ) ...packed my truck with my sh!t and ran to her as fast i could get there. My pain and misery that consumed my every minute since the day she left was over..........or so i thought.
I arrive at our new house with a smile as big as Texas and a positive attitude that i had been lacking for some time. When i 1st seen her ( it had been 3 months since we had seen each other ) i almost lost it...it was just so good to see her smiling face again.... BUT.....something was different about her.....something wasnt the same.....when she seen me that spark in her eye wasnt there...we hugged....but it felt different....we didnt kiss....which we always did before. Anyway after the awkward 1st day the next week was somewhat normal but still something was different. I was just so happy just to see her and be around her but i didnt feel it back from her. She just seemed cold and distant towards me. Then came week 2.
I come home from job searching and im greeted with a did u find a Fu**in job yet . I was floored. How the hell could she be so rude....i had only been looking for work 3 days...and i had 2 interviews the next day. I was like damn whats this attitude all about and she said some things and i said some things and she tells me to get out !!! If it wasnt for me she wouldnt have that fu**in house and im being thrown out for nothing. So now im on the street in a city i know nobody but her. Honeymoon is over...
I sleep in my truck for 3 days ( i didnt have the money for a hotel because i had give it all to her ) and on the 4th day i called her to ask to talk and she agrees. We talk about things and she lets me back in. Week 3 rolls around and i land a good job and everything seems alright. But it wasnt. She nagged at me for every little thing i did and b!tched constantly about anything and everything. I tell her we need to talk and poured my heart out to her and even cried ( 1st time she had ever seen me cry ) about how much i love her and want to make it work. But her mind was made up....she didnt want to be with me anymore.
So the next day i come home from work to find all my sh!t in the driveway ( thank god nobody stole anything ) and a note telling me to leave. So i took my belongings and the little bit of pride i had left and came back home. So here i am....back home trying to pick up the pieces of my destroyed life. I gave everything up to be with her ...everything. I feel i was used just so she could get into a house because she didnt have the money on her own. How can i feel any different ? We had both vowed to do what it took to make this work and 3 weeks later she tell me to hit the highway ? I did everything i could to make it work but it wasnt good enough for her......
For those who may read this who are still wanting to get back with your X just remember when the spark is gone....its gone. I still have the spark for her but she doesnt have it for me. When she left me....she left me because something in her mind was telling her she didnt want to be with me anymore.....and even though we gave it another chance i guess that something in her mind was still there. I did everything i could to change her feelings....but now i realize sometimes ( not everytime of course ive heard many stories of ppl reconciling and being happy ) the something in their head that tells them they dont want to be with you cannot be changed.
Starting at ground zero again...thanks for reading.
Re: Even after all this...i still love her...why ??? shockedandamazed: No More Tears - my god...I am so sorry to hear about all this. I'm sorry, but she sounds like a wench-wad. She was fully aware of everything you had to give up and she still took full advantage of the situation and played on your vulnerability.
Can you get your old job back? I hope things work out for you!
Keep posting!
Re: Even after all this...i still love her...why ??? lilly10: no more tears I am so sorry that this happened to you!!! It does sound like her motive was to get the house and that may be it. Seems like she picked the fights with you just so she could throw you out. Wow that is just so unfair and forgive me for saying but that is just evil. You are right there is no changing somebody else they have that thought implanted in there head and that is that. Oh I am sending you a big HUG!!
Re: Even after all this...i still love her...why ??? in_search_of: WOW, that is awful. I am so sorry that happened to you. But, now, when someone asks did you try everything, you can look them squarely in the eye, and say "YES, YES I DID!" No regrets.
Why do you still love her, because you made a promise, because you said you would. Because you can see the things in her that she has forgotten in herself. Those things are good signs in you. Show that you are a good person and that you will move on with life and be able to find someone who will show you the love that you tried to show her!
Re: Even after all this...i still love her...why ??? Trillian: You still love her because....
Yeah you made a promise...but I think that there is more to it also. I think that when someone falls for another person, they will always love that person in some way. She will always love you because for a while there you meant something to her that was special. You may not always get a long, or like each other. BUT it is like I tell people about my exs.... yeah they hurt me, one more then the other. BUT I will always love both of them....no because of the end, nah, but because of what they gave me. I love the second because he made me stronger, he made me a better person by doing what he did, even though at the time I went through hell and back.... The first I will always love because he gave me the children.
Some people never get over a love like the one that you have when you first get married. I know that my mom never got over loving my father. To this day she is still in love with him, and it has been over 20 years.
It may not be the type of love that she has for you....but maybe you will be able to love someone like you love her again. And hopefully they won't hurt you like this.
;)
