When do you run out of tears?

When do you run out of tears? starbucker: I am having the worst day...I have had the worst week...I have cried and hurt harder than I have ever in my life. Now that my husband is gone...he took 60% of all his clothes and necessitites while I was at work Thursday...his side of the closet nearly empty...his toiletries and cds gone as well...I am feeling the emptiest yet. The end has come. He told me Tuesday night...the marriage is over, the passion is over...done. Gosh...I just never thought this would happen to me. I was so happy just a short time ago...thinking of starting our family...I wish I could go back in time...I wish maybe I could have helped him with his problems...I wish I wish I wish. Bottom line...he is passionate about this other woman...his attention is with her...he is not hurting...he is not lonely...he think he has gotten out of this marriage valiently...before too long. I found another token of his infidelity today...I think that was just another set back.

When will this impossible pain and all the tears start to fade a little? Help!!
Re:When do you run out of tears? bit pusher: Hold on tight ... is gonna be a bumpy ride. (I tell everyone this. Go figure.) I holed up in my apartment for a couple of weeks drinking whisky and chainsmoking when my wife left to be with her man of the hour. I couldn't even speak. Then the pain went dead. Then it came back ... with a vengeance ... nine months later.

The tears will come and go. You may get a long stretch without them ... I certainly did. It didn't mean they weren't waiting there for me. But week over week, month over month, it gets more manageable. Lean on who you can find to lean on, and don't be afraid to be a wreck, and don't worry when you backslide.

(Oh yeah, and when you get mad, think of how confused he's gonna be when it finally catches up with him, since he is managing to hide from his hurt right now. At least you get yours straight away.)

Good luck there.

-bp
 When do you run out of tears? ChristyM: I think bit pusher is exactly right (Wow - isn't it great to have someone tell you you're right bp?) I think you are the one ahead of the game here. He might seem to have it easy and great now, but so did my s2bx. When his relationship (you know - his true soulmate) fizzled he hit bottom so hard you couldn't believe it. Realized it was built on nothing but infatuation and feelings he was trying to find that could only be found in himself. I have to say I did feel sorry for him at that time. They're running, but the day will come it will catch up with them. The best thing you can do is move forward and show him that you are getting on with your life. I cried and cried and cried and it does eventually get better. You start to live a life as an individual and not just one half of a couple. You will get stronger - hang in there!

Christy
 Re:When do you run out of tears? AlexInVirginia: I am praying for you to hurt less and heal more, Starbucker. Hang in there. Hang in there. Hang in there. I've been there, and still go there daily. Hang in there.

Infidelity is so hurtfull! Hang in there! Don't give up! You will get through this as time passes! For now, distract yourself! Play a game, go out shopping, do something you like that's fun. Go cry in a friend's arms. Post another message here!

We will read it and feel your pain!

Did I mention, "hang in there?"

Know this: You are a valuable person and all of us here are willing to help. We will get through this together!

Take a warm bath! Go for a walk. Buy your favorite ice cream and eat the whole box! Exercise! Watch a good movie! Be gentle and kind to yourself. You deserve it in this time of such accute loss.

Hold your heart in your hands, and be at peace. Weep, pray, meditate, and relax.

Know there is love in the world. I don't know you, but I know that you are precious and people in this world love you who you haven't even met.

P.S. Hang in there.
 Re:When do you run out of tears? starbucker: I LOVE that..."people in this world love you that you haven't even met."

Thanks so much for your kind words...I think I am becoming co-dependant on Ojar these days. I seem to log-on when ever I start feeling like I can't breath anymore...and am always reminded others are out there...pushing through the pain and tears.