Grass isn't greener on the other side

Grass isn't greener on the other side trying to cope in Ky: Well, lets see where to begin. My husband and I kinda had a rocky start from the beginning. He was a batchlor all his life and then all of a sudden he takes on the responsibity of a wife with 3 little girls. He mad(makes) and awesome step-father. I have had problems in the past with chatting with men online and meeting them and well that never really stopped after we got married. To try and make a long story short about 3  yrs ago I met this man and we seemed to hit it off very well. We kept in touch off and on but we went 2 yrs without seeing each other. Then Dec. of last yr. I contacted him again and went to see him and the flame was still there. After that things started getting very bad around our house. In Feb. of this year I left my husband and my 4 yr old son and took my 2 yr old with me to go be with this man. BIG MISTAKE!!!  Went through alot of crying and thinking after I had been there for a month begging him to let me come home. Came home and tried to work things out but 2 much hurt was there so I left 3 weeks later and went back to where I came from. After crying everyday, I finally came back as I missed my son very much and wanted to be able to see him everyday. Since I have been back my x and I get along very well, he comes over every day we go out as a family and he comes to the church we used to go to with me but yet tells me there is no hope of us ever getting back together.  He sends lots of mixed signals and I wish so much I could get in his head and figure out what he is really thinking. I am so confused and it hurts when he knocks down my hopes to just raise them up again at a later date. Well, that is my story for now the short version...hehe....hope I get some feedback from you...thanks

Trying to cope in ky
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