what comes first moonshine: ive heard that when you find someone new that you will grow attachment to them and will be able to move on. ive also heard that you should completely be over your ex to move on to someone else.
which one comes first though?
in my own personal case i think i want to move on but hesitant that i will still have some possible issues that simply meeting someone who i like wont solve. as well, in the case something happens to the new person, will i really be better equipped? im not even sure what exactly these 'things' are people say i should improve and work. all i know is that i was hurt and felt betrayed...whats there really to improve other then healing....? i know you should be secure, which i am, but is anyone truly secure enough toknow they will be able to live the rest of their life all alone, before moving on....
is that what point we should strive to get to before moving on? if so, its hard..
im confused.
Re: what comes first Findingmyself: When you find out, let me know! ;D
Here's what I believe and am trying to follow through with moonshine:
I think that it is best to be over the last relationship before jumping into another one. My reasoning is that I suspect many of us, including myself, fall into the trap of finding validation in life through their partner and the relationship. And the end result is that if you have never truly been able to love yourself and life on your own(raises hand), then if you jump into another relationship before resolving these issues, you will just repeat the pattern again. And be miserable again when the relationship ends.
That's my take on it.
And yes it is hard...
Only because, whether you were the leaver, or the leavee, if you want to resolve your own issues and get over the breakup emotions, you have to face what is often the ugly truth inside you that most people never learn how to properly deal with.
Re: what comes first dontgetit: Look on the net - rebounds rarely last....
Make sure you take the time to greive before you move on....
Re: what comes first Zipsfb: I will highly lean toward the move on FIRST then date some option. I started dating a girl months after my break up, thinking I was over my X, and everything was fine. But when my X came back I was flooded with emotion and ran back, hurting my new GF and putting myself back in a bad situation. Needless to say my X was only having doubts and once I came back she decided it wasn't "right". This basically threw me back to where I was when we first broke up, in a world of hurt.
If you feel like you really like someone and they make you forget about your X I think you should go for it, but if you wake up in the morning and still think about your X give yourself more time. No one can get you over your X but you and time, I found it's a bad idea to try and let someone else "help" you with it.
