Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence minneapolis: Will someone please remind me of what my ex-husband did to me? How is it possible that i am sitting here feeling sorry for him?
A lot of his friends have turned their backs on him b/c they don't respect how he has handled our marriage. And he is not being invited to a very close friend's wedding b/c the friend says he no longer respects him. I know how much this hurts him. But why do I care?
His mother stopped by yesterday and told me that they'd had dinner together the night before and she saw him sitting at the table with his head hung low for several minutes just looking sad. She didn't tell me this to make me feel pity for him, she's just trying to figure out what's going through his head, too, b/c no one can understand why he walked away.
And some friends of ours always host an "orphan" thanksgiving and even though he had no plans on Thanksgiving I know he was not invited to the dinner. So I feel sorry that he spend the day alone.
What the hell is the matter with me? I could cry thinking about him being so sad. Can I not remember all the nights I sat up crying because I was sad? I still am sad and I know he's not feeling sorry for me.
So here I am, feeling sad for him and yet I am mad at everyone else. I cannot muster up an ounce of anger towards my ex, but I've been a total b*tch to a very old, close friend (who happens to share the ex's name) and I've cut ties with another friend because I was angry at her. I hate my boss because he just left his wife...but I don't hate my ex.
Does anyone else feel sorry for their ex? Is anyone else having issues with transferring all of the feelings you "should" be feeling for your ex onto those around you? How did you deal with it?
Re: Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence Falcon554: Im not mad at my wife either. After her cheating and crap I should be but im not. Maybe its because you still care? I know I still care. I dont hold grudges at all, never have never will. People make mistakes, hell I have had enough for an army.
Re: Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence 4sarah: I still find myself saying the same stuff about my X. After what he put me through and continues to put me through I am shocked that I'm not angry at all but I do feel sorry for him and want to help him. It sounds wierd to others. I told my best friend and she told me I was nuts and haven't heard from her for a few days.
Re: Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence BONILLAK: I sure wish you could send some of the sad, alone feelings fromyour ex to mine. I surely would not feel sorry for mine in fact I would pay money to see him look/act sad, alone, guilty and miserable. Is that cruel? maybe but I want him to feel what the 3 kids and I felt and I want him to feel it 4 times the strength(since there was 4 of us hurting).
Try to remember and feel all those feelings you felt in the past when he didn't care. people hurt others and think its a game. Did he care when you were hurting?
Re: Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence Falcon554: [quote author=LivingANewLife link=topic=22062.msg205453#msg205453 date=1132974637">
I sure wish you could send some of the sad, alone feelings fromyour ex to mine. I surely would not feel sorry for mine in fact I would pay money to see him look/act sad, alone, guilty and miserable. Is that cruel? maybe but I want him to feel what the 3 kids and I felt and I want him to feel it 4 times the strength(since there was 4 of us hurting).
Try to remember and feel all those feelings you felt in the past when he didn't care. people hurt others and think its a game. Did he care when you were hurting?
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I know your hurting bad, but I know there were many times in the past where I hurt her, did not think of her feelings. for my wife I know for 21 years put herself behind myself and my kids, now it seems its time for her. does not make it any eaiser but it happens.
I want my wife to hurt like I did to, and im sure there are times when she really is hurting but she does not show it like I do, im sure your husband hurts to, or I hope to god he does, and if he does not then im not sure whats wrong with him.
