Dating recently divorced man
Re: Dating recently divorced man RSGinATX: [quote author=startingover2 link=topic=22321.msg207667#msg207667 date=1133563623">
I am dating a recently divorced man (within the last year) and he is an emotional wreck. He was married for almost 20 years and one day his wife said she wanted a divorce. He was floored and has been having a difficult time getting his life back on track. Meanwhile, I am patiently trying to be a friend but he knows I want more. My friends tell me to be patient - that good things come to those who wait. Am I crazy for dating someone like this?
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Depends...how are you sure you want to be more than friends with someone whos life is in flux? What is it that attracts you to this man, and are those factors ones that might change as he deals with his divorce? While it would have been nice if someone could have been a part of my life when I was going through the rough stages I really wouldn't have wished myself upon anyone...WYS is NOT WYG.
Re: Dating recently divorced man ohill: If this man is truly "an emotional wreck", then it is probably not a good idea to have anything more than a supportive friendship. After a 20 year marriage he no doubt has a lot of issues to work through which will likely require a lot of healing and introspection.
If he has the time to get his life on track and emotionally mend before he starts another relationship, then he will likely be a more fully healed and stronger man when he starts one. If he starts another relationship before he is really ready it could unravel later because of unresolved issues. I concur with your friends that your patience will eventually be rewarded whether he is the guy for you or not.
Re: Dating recently divorced man Beren: It's hard to say. Maybe you're crazy, maybe you aren't. How old is he? How old are you? What makes this man worth waiting around for? What would you be doing right now if you weren't waiting for him? How long are you willing to wait? What do the two of you have in common? What do you like about him? What does (or would) he like about you? Does he have kids? Do you?
I'm sure there are a lot more questions, but that's a good start.
Beren
Re: Dating recently divorced man OS: startingover2,
That's a tough one, but I was a mess and I was only w/ my ex for 7 years and dated another three. Twenty years is a long time to be with someone and share everything. I guess I'm not sure why you see him as an emotional wreck and is he still pining for his old life? If he is then you need to take a step back and realize that he needs to mourn his loss. Just listen to him and ask him what he needs from you. If you care about him, then give him time and space and more of a friend. Pressure is bad, but you need to realize where he's at and listen to him.... hope this helps, but you seem like a great person realizing this already.
OS
