Interesting Conversation (THOUGHTS FROM THE FORUM WOULD BE HELPFUL) dontgetit: My grown daughter had a conversation with her mother yesterday (my wife ran off with another man after knowing him for 3 weeks in October)...
Anyway the man is out of town for a few days and it is damm cold here and the lady is forced to use the bus while his car sits in the driveway (he told her as it was a lease she could not be insured on it)....
My grown daughter spent yesterday with her mother (both had the day off) and a number of things were said during the course of the day....
She told my daughter that last Sunday after church they went for coffee and my stbxw started crying when he asked her to pay for the coffee's - I am not sure of the exact conversation she had with her new man, but it went something like "what if I had no money etc,etc.....(He earns big bucks and she earns very little - I think she is pretty much broke).....
She asked my grown daughter if he loved me would he give me money - I know she has not asked him, but the general sense is that perhaps he should see that she is broke and offer to help (guess he does not - from what I understand he did not respond to her in the coffee shop when she was crying)....
Most interesting is she mentioned to my grown daughter a number of times "what a good man he is" (smacks to me like she is trying to convince herself) - another interesting comment was she actually asked my grown daughter if I had changed and then teared up when my grown daughter said yes - and again started saying what a good man her new BF is (again in my mind she's trying awfully hard).....
So am I reading to much into these few comments - might she be realizing she made the wrong choice.
I have to tell you this guy in my mind is a dirt bag - if he let the woman use his vehicle I am sure it would allow her to see her daughter (see my post "she seems to be walking away from her daughter"....I am starting to think that maybe she does not see the child because she has no means of getting her and no means of taking her anywhere......If my new love was struggling (unless I was blind) I would see it and say - lets just get this done!!!!!!!
Last thing my daughter mentioned was that my wife told her she left because she knew she had somewhere to go.....
Again, none of this happened in one conversation - they were together all day and the comments just sort of happened as the day wore on.
Perhaps I am just dreaming in techni - colour, but I am thinking cracks are starting to appear in this relationship..........
AM I RIGHT!!!!!!
Re: Interesting Conversation crushedman: Very interesting developments in your situation dontgetit. I'm wondering- do you want your wife back? If so, you have some leverage here.
What I would do is-
A: don't give her another red cent under ANY circumstances.
B: File for child support (or at least threaten to do so). This will probably make her angry, but so be it. You are well within your legal and moral rights to do so.
My guess is she will come crawling back at some point.
Just my 2 cents.
Re: Interesting Conversation ChiefWiggum: Of course, we just know one side of the story... but if it's true (bus/coffee/lease), that is truly a sad situation.
Do you feel sorry for her?
How old is "grown daughter"?
Re: Interesting Conversation dontgetit: Chief - what do you mean if it is all true......
I know personally she is not cash "rich" - she had my grown daughter call me yesterday for money (I said no).....I know the guy is out of town and since she has no car - it is either bus or walk (walking would be tough, its about 10 miles and below 0)....As for the vehicle I do not know the exact details, what I know for sure is she NEVER drives it - she told my grown daughter about the lease thing (frankly I think it is BS)....My grown daughter is 23............Again as for the coffee shop incident why would she lie to my daughter and or why would my daughter lie to me (she has no reason to - as far as she is concerned I am finished with the lady, which may or may not be the case) - I have told my daughter that I have moved on and feel empathy for her mother, in fact I told my daughter to have mercy on her mother (she was and is pissed that my wife is all but ignoring the child).
Crushedman - where is the leverage and why go after child support...What is your logic.
Re: Interesting Conversation crushedman: You have leverage in that you are able to provide something that OM cannot or will not- security (at least this is what I gather from your prior posts if I am wrong than I apologize) and money. Again, it depends on what you are trying to accomplish. If you want her back, IMO it would be prudent to use every weapon that you possibly have at your disposal. I don't mean that child support is a 'weapon', but you are absolutely entitled to it. The weight of that particular obligation may just be enough to crash this fantasy relationship she is living. That is why it is so important to NOT give her any money. If you give her money, she gets the best of both worlds.
