She is trying to break my No Contact Gabo: Ok I need advice, please.
First of all... I still love this woman.
Second of all... she is with OM.
Ok I phoned her 3 weeks ago telling her that she betrayed me and that I didn't want to know anything from her. That she lost my respect and trust so we weren't friends.
Yesterday I received a brief e-mail. Basically she is telling me that this is very hard and that she wants to know how am I doing. She told me that if I don't want her to write me again I just have to tell her.
Ok... this shows signs of weakness with the OM. I really want her back but I don't know what to do. I am so confused now. No Contact without her e-mailing was great but now...
Any suggestions? Should I answer that I am doing great? Should I just ignore it? Or Should I say that I don't want to hear from her ever?
I'm sorry... I was trying to be strong but this new e-mail really confused my heart and head again.
Jabe
Re: She is trying to break my No Contact frontier74: I doubt it's "signs of weekness with the OM." It sounds more like a guilty conscience that needs soothing.
I'd say you should keep with the no-contact, and let her figure it out for herself. She'll read whatever she wants to hear into anything you say, and then move on -- business as usual -- so say nothing. That should keep her guessing, for awhile.
Don't go out of your way to make it harder on her, but don't make it easier for her either. Unanswered questions lead to consideration. If she's forced to actually consider her actions, she just might learn something from the experience.
Re: She is trying to break my No Contact ChiefWiggum: Ignore it.
Even if you do love her... even if you do want to get back together... even if you do eventually get back together... ignore it for now.
If she truly needs you back and feels bad etc. etc., she will find you. She's going to have to do a lot better than a "how are you doing" email.
Ignoring this email does not destroy any possiblity of you getting back together. There's no hurry. If she wants to get back together she will keep trying, so don't feel panicked about responding. If she does want you, ignoring this email will probably make her want you more.
Of course, all this advice goes out the window if you couldn't wait for ojar responses and already emailed her back! ;) (I know how it is.)
CW
Re: She is trying to break my No Contact Gabo: No, I haven't emailed her back. I wrote a really long e-mail explaining her my position. Basically saying how much I loved her, then how much she betrayed me, then that if she betrayed me she will not hear from me ever again. But I didn't think it was a good idea because my head wasn't clear so I saved it as a Draft.
My therapist gives awesome advices and I am seeing her today so I am waiting. As far as it goes it appears that not answering is the best choice so far but I am not sure.
Re: She is trying to break my No Contact ajw: she has a guilty conscience because of what happened and she wants you to placate it.............dont bother,she has a guilty conscience for a reason and she has to deal with it
