Crap I did it again sudboy: My cheating STBXW stopped by my office where I was keeping our son for the afternoon while she ran errands. So I cracked wise and told her I'd noticed she taken her golf clubs out of the garage and then sarcastically said that I hope her golf swing is improving (the OM is a golfer and she's only played probably five times in the 11 years we were together -- yet now has a new found interest in the game). I also told her sarcastically that I hope she's happy with the new life she's chosen over me and her son and our family. So basically I was a smart-a$$ to her about her recent decision to leave me.
It felt good to be mean to her because I still feel a lot of hurt over the way things ended when we split. I just wanted to hurt her feeling the way she did me. Immature, I know. But at the same time I am working to overcome self-defeating behaviors like being a smartass when I am pissed off. So yes I had a lapse in good judgement that made me feel gratified for a few minutes, but which ultimately does not make me feel any better and no doubt made her think what a jerk I am.
Such has been the road I've been traveling during our separation. I will do better next time and keep my mouth in check. Just wanted to vent.
Sudboy
Re: Crap I did it again Plucky: It's okay to slip up and get snipey when you're this hurt and angry. I don't know a single person that would be able to keep all of it in check 100% of the time. Don't be too hard on yourself. :)
Re: Crap I did it again bleedingheart: I've done the same too. Made smart a$$ remarks to intentionally upset the stbx. I wanted her to feel the pain i felt. But keep in mind that you are better than that. That you are the better person. :)
Re: Crap I did it again sparks: Its hard not too sometimes. I actually have a real problem with it. As soon as the ex makes me mad, I dont think, I just answer him with smart a$$ remarks. It feels good for a minute when you think that maybe your getting through and they might understand the pain, but than it just makes you angrier because it didnt get through or your reminded that they really dont care.
Dont beat yourself up over it. Its going to happen. Forgive yourself and go on about your business.
Re: Crap I did it again lilly10: Dont worry about making wise cracks at your stbx we all do it. I have done that several times it just happens. Pretty soon you wont even care enough to make the wise cracks anymore. Next time you know you are going to see her make a decision not to make any comments at all about her new life.
