Christmas And The Engagement Ring dontgetit: I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that my wife who ran off with a guy in October is going to be getting an engagement ring from him for Christmas...
I am done with her, but I am still sick over what happened (and my daughter)...
The thought of this guy giving my wife of 26 years an engagement ring makes me almost sick inside...
I know this is not rational - hey he is sleeping with her, but I am getting really worked up over this...
Any thoughts on how to deal with this.....
Re: Christmas And The Engagement Ring ohill: Over the last holiday season, I was still married, and my wife had just left me. We were under the guise of "working on things." She was out and about with various men during the holidays, and I knew it. It gave me a sinking feeling as well. I knew (for the most part) what was going on, and I also knew that there wasn't a darn thing I could do about it. From that standpoint, I can identify with you.
The way I dealt with it was to realize that I could control how much time I spent thinking about it, and by spending more or less time thinking about it, I could control how worked up I got over it.
The more I thought about it, the more incensed I got. All the thoughts of "How could someone do this with my wife? How could my wife do this with someone other than me? Has she no respect for me? For our marriage? The list went on and on, and it ate me alive. The more you look for the bad things, the more you find. However, the more I forced myself to think on other things, the more the bad situation went into the periphery.
The fact is that your wife left, is obviously very involved with this other guy, and is likely to be getting an engagement ring over the holidays. Over these things, you have virtually no control in any way. I would recommend spending your time (to the extent possible), thinking about your daughter, your future life, and the rest of your family this holiday season. If you look for the good things, you will find them. I won't pretend that doing this will be easy...but it just might help.
Hang in there!
Re: Christmas And The Engagement Ring dumpling: laugh. seriously. if they get engaged- i shudder to think. they are both still married. train wreck waiting to happen. if they want to start their future by getting engaged while still married to other people, they deserve all that is coming their way.
you are rational, she is not. of course you will feel this way, she is still your wife.
my advice to you is to know as little about her new life as possible. hang in there.
Re: Christmas And The Engagement Ring bry911928: Dude,
The best thing to do is start thinking about what you are doing to be doing. I stopped months ago worriing about what my ex and her new man are doing! I have new things to see and do, and people to met. Why waste a second thinking of her happiness, when you can be spending a second thinking of yours?
Bry911928
Re: Christmas And The Engagement Ring C-Note: Once again knowing what's the right thing to do and actually doing it is hard! I think about my Ex, this post is about "dontgetit" thinking about his STBEx. I wish I could be as cold as my Ex and just stop caring. Sometimes OJAR's just don't get it. I can't fool myself. I can't help myself from thinking about my Ex and what if's and what she may be doing from time to time.
Yes I'm ranting. No I can't wrap this up cause I don't even know where this response is going. I just know that for now, for me the advice of just not thinking about the Ex doesn't work! Sorry.
