1st Meeting w/lawyer Tuesday. Relieved and yet.... MsHippie: I'm so sad.
This isn't what I wanted. This is what I am forced to do. My parents are helping me out w/the lawyer, I'll pay them back w/part of tax refund. STBX has no money and will not have a lawyer. He has been so cruel, so unfeeling, such a bastard... and yet...
I'm still mourning him. Our marriage. The happiness we had once. He knows I'm seeing a lawyer soon. I want to stop by Tuesday morning and ask him, "are you absolutely positive this is what you want?" At this point, it SHOULD be what I want too. I know it's for the best. I know I deserve better. I KNOW all of these things. And sometimes I feel strong and optimistic and maybe even excited about the future. Other times I just feel so miserable that we failed. And I still feel the need to try again. But he won't have it. I want to go back in time. Fix things before they broke. But maybe, maybe it was inevitable...
Re: 1st Meeting w/lawyer Tuesday. Relieved and yet.... Whirlpool: [quote author=MsHippie link=topic=23067.msg213987#msg213987 date=1135395427">
I'm so sad.
This isn't what I wanted. This is what I am forced to do. My parents are helping me out w/the lawyer, I'll pay them back w/part of tax refund. STBX has no money and will not have a lawyer. He has been so cruel, so unfeeling, such a bastard... and yet...
I'm still mourning him. Our marriage. The happiness we had once. He knows I'm seeing a lawyer soon. I want to stop by Tuesday morning and ask him, "are you absolutely positive this is what you want?" At this point, it SHOULD be what I want too. I know it's for the best. I know I deserve better. I KNOW all of these things. And sometimes I feel strong and optimistic and maybe even excited about the future. Other times I just feel so miserable that we failed. And I still feel the need to try again. But he won't have it. I want to go back in time. Fix things before they broke. But maybe, maybe it was inevitable...
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I was exactly where you are now, and still am a tiny bit. No matter how much you know this is for the better it is not going to be easy. As silly as you think it is the feelings are not going to stay away. Don't worry, you think you are going crazy but it is all normal.
One note of concern, ask your lawyer about the possibility of you having to pay your husbands legal expenses if you do this. He can get a lawyer and regardless of outcome you may be responsible for his legal fees if you make more than him.
