breakthrough dream #2
of course for the first few weeks, all i could dream about was finding the ex in bed w/the piece of white trash he worked with. The whole dream would be jerry springer like! They were just sad angry confusing dreams.
Then i dreamed that we had never split up and in the back of my head i would wonder didn't something happen?
a few weeks ago i dreamed that he wanted to get back together and i was so happy but i asked him in the dream, why would i want to after what you did? At that point i knew my self conscious (reality) was finally creeping into my subconscious.
well tonight i dreamed that we were back together, but i went to him and said as much as "i love you and i would have done anything to keep us together i KNOW that we aren't meant to be together. the thought of us being back together makes me sad and nervous (not the good kind.) i don't want to be with you b/c you made me feel really bad about myself. i spent the last 9 years taking care of you and now it's time for me to take care of myself (thanks keroppi for that advice) and eventually find someone that wants to take care of me as much as i want to take care of him. "
anyway i am not sure if any of you will see this as much of a "breakthrough" as i have, but it's enough that i woke up and felt excited enough to come share.
i know there will be bad days. i know i could still have sad confusing dreams, but i also can see better days coming. Especially since my sub conscious is acting like it wants to cooperate w/me.
for all you brand new guys outs there....this is still all new to me, but it's getting easier every day.
i hope this makes you feel better.
Re: breakthrough dream #2 notmyself:
Quote - "i spent the last 9 years taking care of you and now it's time for me to take care of myself (thanks keroppi for that advice) and eventually find someone that wants to take care of me as much as i want to take care of him. "
i could have written this if it had been 5 years instead of 9 years. congrats on your break through. better days are coming, i agree. isn't it wonderful not to have that dreading
feeling? i just can't wait for it all to be done with. hope you have more happy dreams!
