Bar Scene Gone Bad
Bar Scene Gone Bad starbucker: Sooo....last night I decided to embrace this hell that my stbx has left me in...I go out with all the single gals for happy hour at this very sceney restaurant for a couple of apres work bevs. Note that I haven't been eating much of anything lately as the Divorce Diet is in full swing so it doesn't take much to make me "happy"...I am sitting at the bar...looking at all these barflies looking to hook up...but I am totally on the verge of tears...realizing that I am here again...I am sitting at a bar, trying to look my finest (I went out and bought new outfits and new makeup and did a "mystic tan"...love it...I feel great...I have lost weight...the push-up bra I am wearing has really been a boost...I am wearing sexy lingerie...so I feel like a million bucks.) But I am two sips away, at all times, from tears. All I want is to be on my couch with my hubby, sipping wine, eating, watching a movie and stroking his back...wearing my wedding ring.
Forward to two martini's later...my friends are scattered...making the rounds...doing laps for hotties...I am still planted in my seat. So I decide to flirt. Ug. I flirted with this huge old guy sitting next to me...I think, he will be easy and nice to talk to...no harm here...he is safe. WRONG. He was a complete a*s! He was mean!! We had a conversation for about 15 minutes and all I remember is he was checking out this 45 year old...and telling me what a sweet a*s she has...vomit, vomit. I am not looking for "game"...I am looking for a nice conversation over a drink...
Needless to say...one of my friends, upon seeing me talking to this freak, thought I needed a "rescue" and zipped over...I then started crying...vision this...women, drinks, single scene, bar, crying...what a flippin nightmare. My freaking girlfriend then rubs my head...comforts me and kisses me on the lips...it was a weird kiss ...not a kiss on the cheak. [I feel like maybe I am posting to the wrong board right now...this is "Penthouse Letters" right?"> But I think she was just super super drunk (I was too) and just wanted to comfort me...but still weird...but at the same time the most affection I have had for the past couple of months. Hmm.
I soon left the bar...yes, I drove...yes, the valet asked me if I was ok to drive...I made it two blocks before realizing I shouldn't be driving...I parked my car in a Del Taco parking lot...hysterically crying, called one of my other friends, who was at home with her loving husband and child, to come pick me up and slept at her house.
I am "working from home" today...hungover like a thirtysomething is and should be...and never want to drink again...I want to concentrate on me...I am not ready for the single scene...I am not ready to be rejected by a fat old goon...I can't handle more rejection this year...I miss my honey so much. I love him so so so much...I can't stop crying. Why is this my life????? I want my old life back. I hate weekends...Saturday mornings are the worst... I look forward to Mondays!!
I can't decide if I need a greasy burger and fries or if I need to puke.
God, please help me through the next three days.
bit pusher: Go greasy burger and fries.
WRT the bar scene, your girlfriends shouldn't be leaving you alone at the bar ... good lord, do I need to write a book about how to take care of people going through divorces while they're drinking?!?
Ah, no you're not ready for the singles scene. If you look at my long tale on here, I didn't actually melt completely down until I tried to get back into that same dating scene, at which point I got smacked upside the head with all this unresolved sh*t.
Hang in there 'bucker ... weekends are hard for a while. Eventually, not so bad. Eventually, actually nice. But for the time being, just hang in there ... I feel for ya.
JASPER: Oh Starbucker you poor thing I am sorry you didn't enjoy your girls night out. It does get discouraging sometimes you just have to suck it up and take the good with the bad.
Sometimes I go out with friends and have a ball don't want the night to end ,and sometime I go out and end up sitting at the bar staring at the clock wondering how I got here and more importantly why am I here.
It does get better you can't let one bad night out spoil your fun for the future.
Hey look on the bright side at least you got a good night kiss! :P
picadilly: BP is right on the money, Starbucker. Weekends suck but they do get better, when you feel comfortable by yourself on a weekend, that is when you really know that your ready for the "singles" scene. They do get better, over time. You have to be cofortable in your own skin, doing your own thing.
Were they really friends or just co-workers? Sometimes there is a difference, sometimes not so much. It is hard sometimes for friends to know what your going through if they themselves have never done it. While it's not fair to them to have to babysit you in a bar, it was not right for them to leave you alone in a bar if they knew what you were going through. Catch 22.
It will get better over time, thats really all I can say to you for now. Be brave, be strong, be yourself.
Peace & love to you.
the "single scene" and the "bar scene" are two totally different senarios. Please dont make the mistake again and confuse the two.
The single scene does NOT have to include drinking at a bar...and being a freshly divorced person, id recommend not going there yet...its too depressing.
The BAR scene is one of the worst scenes to be in if single...its shallow and clouded by drunkeness.
If you want to be in the SINGLE scene, id recommend doing something else....anything. Take a class by yourself, take a vacation on your own...join a volunteer group that you have a passion for.
Youll then see that the "single scene" does not have to include drinking at a bar but doing ANYTHING that is fun...ON YOUR OWN!
So, please, hang in there, and dont let one bad bar night get you down on being single!