So frustrated! hurtnlost: Today his mom and friend came up to bring him things he needed and help him clean the house that he got for rent free. I called to see when he will come to watch the kids and I could hear them laughing in the background. It just makes me sick that this is no big deal to him. I even had gathered things up to give him when i did not have to but felt bad for him and he took them but no thanks or appreciation to me. I do not know why he would he never showed me any appreciation in the marriage why would he after we are divorced. The part I really wish I could get over is that 10 years of my life with him had to have meant something to him. Sure he wanted the divorce and said he was miserable and the funny thing of it all is when i see him I do not have any attraction or anything just resentment. I am just so stupid to be hung up on someone that has done this to me and my boys and he walks around like it is no big deal that his life is moving on and i am trying. I am going out tonight with friends and everything but I just wish for once something would not be handed to him and be hard for him to get or have. It just is not fair. I want to be so strong and I want to not contact him anymore and let him do the calling and when he is around act like I am the happiest person in the world and all is good. I honestly think killing him with kindess would be the best to make him think all is good with me but who knows.
It is just so frustrating. . .
Re: So frustrated! alonewith2: It is frustrating. Frustrating as h*ll actually!
I remember thinking for the longest time how much I wanted him to feel the pain he caused me, to feel what I was feeling.....to just FEEL.
It was as if nothing affected his new happy life. How could the years of good times just be erased in an instance? How could he go on in life not thinking about what he lost?
It's hard to understand. The only thing I can suggest is doing the no contact thing.....
Re: So frustrated! poppy: sweetie-
get it out! don't be mad that he lives in someone's basement for free right now. it won't last. he'll need to find another basement to call home soon enough or face the mess that he made of his life. he is a taker. he took what he wanted and needed from you and then moved on. he has his house four hours away that he can fall back on in case of an emergency. his luck will run out.
he shows no appreciation because he always expects from others. there is no reason to show gratitude because it is his expectation that others meet his needs while he continues to satisfy his own needs.
of course the time you were together meant something. but he has pushed all of that out of his mind to meet his own ends.
it's funny how their ugly behavior can kill the attraction you had for them. ugly is as ugly does.
i think the hardest part about accepting that you are better off without them is to admit that you made a mistake in the first place, knowingly or unknowingly. i've wanted to run away and join the circus for the last four years. there must have been a reason for that desire. now i am free to enroll in trapeeze school!
don't beat yourself up. your situation is a little different in that you really never had a separation to deal with things. the begining of your divorce is also the begining of your separation.
have a drink for me tonight! and do some innocent flirting!
