Re: Read some things here....maybe not enough..please...could use some support seashell61061: Thank you. Yes, I needed to hear that. I'm sorry for what you have gone through. I do understand. Obviously, I'm going through it too. I wish I could make all of our heartache go away. I'm not unrealistic, I'm only saying what I wish. It's so hard to still live with someone and.....I want to say pretend or not, but I'm not sure, protect may be a better word. I just thank you for responding because I just need to know I'm ok. I used to think I was ok and I will think I am again, but, right now, I don't think I am. Duh! So dumb....but it's where I'm at, at the moment....Thank you for listening.
Read some things here....maybe not enough..please...could use some support seashell61061: Met my husband online (not against doing that, but be more suspicious) talked online and met for lunch for over a year. My Father, having left my Mother and my sister when we were young and made it for himself, wanted to help me and gave us a wedding. My husband was wonderful for the 1st year....probably because his ex's son from a previous marriage burnt down the house and I helped to get it back....and I helped (babysat) his son until he turned 12. When all was done, he wants a divorce. Ouch! Less than 2 years. I really wanted it to work and have gone about 4 months (I set up counselling and he went 3 times) and now realize, if he doesn't want it and doesn't love me, why put myself through more grief? Mind you, in my heart, I have grief. But I know I can't make someone love me. I say to myself, everyday, I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm prosperous (for those of you out there that say but....trust me, you are) I'm beautiful and a new one that I have added....AND I DESERVE TO BE LOVED. It is still so very hard and I need support. Any comments, I would greatly appreciate....Thanks.
Re: Read some things here....maybe not enough..please...could use some support 4sarah: You do deserve to be loved... Welcome to OJAR. And may I just say what an A#$ your X is. Sounds a lot like mine. My X and I got together right after he got divorced and had filed bankrupcy. So I did the same helped him get back on his feet and babysat his son from his first marriage for 10 years. I guess you could be gratefully it was only 2 or 3 years wasted rather than 10. Come post often it does help if you have any questions people on here generally really have great advise.
Sarah
Re: Read some things here....maybe not enough..please...could use some support superwife: Welcome, seashell. It sounds like you just got caught up with the wrong guy. That is not to say your feelings for him were not real: obviously they were very real- you did a lot to help him, and he obviously didn't appreciate it.
You have a very good self image, which is very difficult for most during these difficult times. And you're right- you can'y make someone love you. I know this first hand. It's been 11 months for me, and I have never lost sight of that, I hope you don't either.
A word of advice...Please, be careful...He sounds like the time that may come crying back to you.
Re: Read some things here....maybe not enough..please...could use some support jadedangel: [color=navy"> They are right ... and Welcome to Ojar ..
It's hard to know something in your head ... and try to convince your heart. One man fighting for his home will have more conviction than 100 hired soliders (now .. yes cheesy .. it's from a movie) ... however --- it's somewhat similiar with the balance between your head and your heart ....
You know what you deserve ... you know what you have ... but sadly you feel your loss .. and emotion can rarely be surpassed by knowledge quickly. You just have to continue to pursue it -- coming here and posting usually helps ... it gets the thoughts out of your head ... onto something viable and people who actually care listen.
You gave yourself to him too trustingly ... just remember the lesson and get away from him while you can -- before he manipulates you further. Online isn't the reason .... some people are just sucky like that ..
good luck .... hang in there .... we are here [/color">
