Bad Day!!!!! DM101: I hate that all of a sudden out of nowhere, it crawls in, those little insecurities, those little doubts, the missing- but dont flatter yourself yet, i dont miss you, i miss the concept of you, i miss the idea of what we could/ should but didnt have....i dont miss you i miss feeling loved, feeling in love, i miss the concept of marriage you never understood, the concept of love and a life together that you were too self involved to pay attention to.
i hate feeling this way about you, i hate the fact that i was blind and stupid enough to fall to your lies and bullshit and to think you are actually capable of giving something to someone else but yourself. i hate the fact that i gave you so much, always trying to improve myself for you and yet you always wanted more, always said i didnt do enough...and i kept trying. I hate the fact that you learned so much from me and yet you teached me nothing but how to lie and manipulate others for your benefit! A part of me wants to hate you, wants to wish you nothing but bad things, unhappiness...but i refuse to give in to this part of me, because that would make me just like you...and i will never be like you.
