I may send this marc_ro: Rosemary,
I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I wasn't who you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I said things that made you feel bad and I'm sorry I didn't do everything right. I'm so sorry that I can't stop crying as I write this. I never wanted to hurt you. you are one of the greatest people I've ever met, and I know your life is going to be great too.
I will never regret our marriage. marrying you was the best thing that had happened in my life and you helped me become the man I am today. and I like the man I am today. and I'm sad that this man isn't meant to be with you anymore. but life is sad sometimes.
I was thinking about our first weekend recently, and looking back with perspective, I remembered one emotion that I hadn't recognized before: effort. falling in love with you was exciting and crazy and wonderful, but it was also a constant effort. almost like a challenge. and I like challenges. but maybe love *shouldn't* be a challenge. or a constant effort. I don't know. I can't begin to understand love.
I don't know why I tried so hard to get you in the beginning. maybe it's because I saw that special light inside of you and I wanted it all for myself. maybe I just had to follow through with knowing I was going to marry you the first time I saw you. maybe it was wrong. but I don't know what wrong is anymore.
you will always have a place in my heart. that will never change. but right now I don't know how many more times I'm ever going to see you again. seeing you hurts me now. but it's not because I don't care about you. it's because I *do* care about you. but I can't take care of you anymore. I'm sorry.
Good-bye, Rosemary. I will always love you.
Marc
