Just watched Dr. Phil.... bkg: Gotta love Tivo...
Today's show was on anger. I fought tears as I watched it - the show was about me. Anne used to say that I am an angry person. She used to say I was mean. I was rarely mad at her, but I made her feel I was never happy with her in my life. Dr. Phil told a woman on the show who has been married less than a year "If you don't change, he's going to leave... I gaurantee it." Anne left...
I need to find the source of the anger, and I believe I know what it is. My father was never healthy - ever - and ultimately died waiting for a heart transplant. He also never said that he loved me. Because of this, I have a deep seated fear of abandonment and that I'm not worthy of love. I guess recognizing it is good. But it has come too late to save my marriage.... :'(
Re:Just watched Dr. Phil.... galil: WOW, sounds like a good eye opening show for you.
I was never an angry perosn so to speak but I can say loooking back I had my fare share of temper flair ups.
The only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to be a better person. I still to this day fall short but I will keep trying to be e better person.
I knwo for me though, the temper I use to have has totaly been washed away. I am not sure why but I think it may have to do with the fact that everything else in my life if it happens to be bad or negative seems so trivial after my ex left me.
Anyway, glad to see you are learning from some mistakes. It is hard to see them and even harder to admit them.
Re:Just watched Dr. Phil.... incoherentlonghorn: Hey BKG,
My heart goes out to you!! I am so glad to hear that you are working on yourself.
WOW...hearing that actually helped me significantly. My father has also never told me that he loves me, we never historically discussed or showed affection, never touched, and I have seen tears in my fathers eyes less than 5 times.
Come to think of it I had unrecognized abandonment issues when I first met the s2bx. I am happy to report that I have not felt that way in over six years. There is hope.
I have also raised my son to "attack" my father--they hug every day, kiss, and show affection. Although I have forced two hugs on my father to date (both during times of loss for him)...I know that he loves me tremendously by each action, look in his beautiful eyes, and gosh he would do anything for me.
Your marriage may have ended or is in the process, but there IS HOPE for you bkg...
Hang in there and big longhorn hugs,
LL
