I wanna help. A Friend: I have a friend going through a divorce. It only lasted a couple years. He's been depressed and I have no clue how to "say the right things". I try to keep him busy by going to movies, playing sports, baseball games and the like. But lately he's been sad.
They've been separated for a few months and he found out that she has a boyfriend already. He talks of "ending himself" but I know he's not serious. He seems to be in that "I don't care what happens to me" phase. I do my best by listening but don't have any advice to give.
He wants to go to strip clubs, Hooters and such but I dont' see how this will resolve anything. I understand he's lonely and needs female companionship but there's not much I can do.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Jarrod
Re:I wanna help. picadilly: Hey Jarrod, your a good friend, that you care enough to look for help for him.
I know, it's hard for you to comfort him, 'specially if you have never gone through what we are. Maybe get your friend this web site address so he can log in & maybe talk to some of us directly. Keeping him busy is a great way to keep his mind off of things, but I think he's the one that will ultimately need to keep his own mind busy. You can take him out all the time, but if he's not looking for things to do himself, he's still going to be down at nights.
He needs to work on himself, on how to be alone & be happy as a singleton. If he's unhappy now, a new relationship will not work to make him happy either & when it ends, as it most likely will, he'll end up more hurt then before.
Has he tried divorce therapy? talking to a counsellor can help wonders. & never take his talk of suiside as being not serious. in a spur of the moment, he may do something foolish.
Be the good friend that you are & try to get him to seek professional help. By professional I mean a therapist. :P but I'm sure maybe he needs the other too.
Cheers & keep us posted if you can.
