Woke up feeling very sad this morning mystical_rain: I had a dream about EX that just left me feeling sad most of the day. I actually woke up truly missing him which annoyed me...but I felt it was important to just let myself feel it...part of the process.
I was cleaning out some cupboards in the downstairs bathroom that was mainly his...i found an old bottle of his cologne...breathed it in a few times, cried a little and tossed it. I reached in behind something and found an old empty beer can. That pretty much cured me of my sadness and brought me back to the reality of one of the biggest reasons why I am where I am right now. Finding that beer can on the heels of finding the cologne and writing down some of my vents here helped me to shed some of this sense of "missing" him.
I don't even think it's him that I miss...because when I sit and actually try to pinpoint what I miss exactly, I come up with a big fat nothing... other than the physical closeness; hugs/touch, etc., I could probably list at least 100 things I don't miss ... maybe I will do that and look back on it when/if this feeling surfaces again.
How is it even possible to miss someone who treated me so badly? Who proves himself again and again to be a total jacka$$ ??
Re: Woke up feeling very sad this morning sosad05: I wish I knew the answer. I go through the same emotions. When I was setting up our old computer, I was cleaning through the files...and found lots and lots of his porn...lovely. I think I just miss the daily conversation...being able to tell him about special things that happen, waking up to him in the morning...those kinds of things.
Re: Woke up feeling very sad this morning JNA: [quote author=mystical_rain link=topic=26053.msg248329#msg248329 date=1140841557">
How is it even possible to miss someone who treated me so badly? Who proves himself again and again to be a total jacka$$ ??
[/quote">
Sorry you are feeling down...
I had bad days like that when I was going through all of this...This too shall pass
As far as "why" we want someone back that treated us so poorly...
Look up the Stolkholm Syndrome sometime
It appears through this study they have found that we feel tied to them in someway...
Here is one link although there are many articles on it more suitable for your situation maybe
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=469
It applies to all abusive realtionships and the affect they have on our psyche...
It was a good read for me...Maybe you will find it helpful too
Stay Strong
JNA
