So The Possible Truth Comes Out atd74: In the process of fighting with my ex over our CD collection there have been a few phone calls back and forth this week, a visit to my place of work and an email.
In the email I received from him this morning he wrote to the effect that I should appreciate all the time it's taking him to make these copies of the CD's and I should at the very least be willing to go out and bring him more supplies. (I agreed to pay for half the supplies but told him I'm not his gopher anymore). He then proceeds to tell me how I think that just because he's not working anymore he has all the time in the world to fuss around with this. He tells me how he has people to see and places to go - particulary a new woman he's been seeing from Wheaton (the next town over from mine - how convienient) and says he's happy now.
He proceeds to go on and tell me that he's become very picky since we were together and he's found a person who has everything he wants. He says that he has learned from his mistakes and that he knows what he wants know. (This from a man who was begging me to take him back just one month ago...). He then proceeds to confess about how he knew I was right all these years... he was treating me like sh** because he didn't love me and lost his faith. He knew I knew because I kept trying to work at things and figure out why he didn't want me sexually anymore and why he was treating me so poorly (all the emotional and mental abuse and TOW).
He then says to me that he lost his faith and love for me a few months before the wedding (we had been dating for 5 years and married for 5). He also proceeded to tell me he was glad he cheated on me. (He never admitted this before and always professed TOW was just a good friend and went to great lengths to make sure it was well known that he did not cheat)
Now, I am very happy with my new life. I too am "seeing" someone and my life without him has been wonderful. I know I made the right decision. And I know that him telling me all this is just another way to push my buttons as he so often did when we were married. It hurts though. I figure he's probably just protecting himself because he's still angry about the divorce and hurt himself. Part of me though believes what he says about marrying me is true. For years my parents, friends and family would tell me or allude to the fact that David never loved me for me. That he married me for the wrong reasons. And now all the emotional abuse, mental abuse and poor treatment just screams out to me - "MAYBE HE IS FINALLY CONFESSING HIS TRUE FEELINGS"
I don't know how anyone could marry someone and take years off their life without any thought. I guess I *know* there are many people out there like this but I can't believe that he said that. It really hurts because I tried for so many years to be a good person, wife, friend, lover and everything I could to him while all the while he never wanted to be married to me in the first place. I have a feeling he didn't back out because of all the money my parents spent and because he didn't want to dissappoint my parents or his.
And sh**!!! When we were just married two years HE came to me about wanting a divorce but backed down when I went to the lawyer. He turned around and said he couldn't because he loved me very much. And then said something to the effect that even if we were unhappily married he would stay married until "death do us part" because he didn't believe in divorce and neither did his family.
But I trudged on. I believed in him and us. It just hurts that I was so in love with him and to think he never wanted me at all. And to know now that everone was right!!!!!
UGH! I want to run his sorry a** over with a mac truck!!!
But, I will prevail... I have decided to let my CD collection go and just replace them all myself. Thank God we didn't have any children together so I never have to speak to him or hear from him again... that's the one saving grace!
Thanks for reading... Funny how I am so happy in my new life without him but when he does rear his ugly head he makes me so angry and miserable!
Re: So The Possible Truth Comes Out achingallover: Yeh, it's scary the things that come out through this. The things your mate says...are they true? Who knows. They certainly are in this moment! But everyone's personal truth is based upon their objective reality of the moment - which is constantly changing.
Who knows why he said the things he did to you. I hope you are able to shake them off, as who knows what the real truth of the deal is. I'm fully prepaired to never understand why my stbx is leaving me. I'm not sure he ever will. But, for you, all of the crap he laid on you - you can brush off. He is no longer a part of your life. From the sounds of your post, his absence is working out great for you. You sound strong and clear. Whether you feel it or not, you really do. YOu are gonna be great. Hell, it sounds like you are doing great! Don't let his nonsense pull you back into the drama. And kudos to you for letting go of the CD collection. I know, that really sucks because you build for a long time and it takes some dough to replace - but it sounds like you made the best decision for your mental well being. I might find myself losing thousands of dollars due to the very same thing (my stbx is planning to lie in mediation about some money stuff). I think it's worth it in the long run. The stress and drama just arent' worth it.
You sound great! Don't let him bring you down - you've got an amazing life to tend to full of love and life and happiness!
:)
Re: So The Possible Truth Comes Out atd74: Thanks Aching :)
I know you are right... I should dust off his words and not let them bring me back to all the bad drama that precluded our divorce.
And I completely know what you are talking about when you talk about what is the real truth? His delusions of grandeur amaze me sometimes!
Re: So The Possible Truth Comes Out justmenow: Welll, being that I know atd74 in person and know what a wonderful, caring, and overall great friend she has been to me, I can truthfully state to all OJAR-heads out there that this scum-sucking nitwit X of hers just lost the best thing that ever happened to him (or ever WILL happen to him) in his entire life. He is acting like a small child who just had his toy taken away from him and I truly believe that he thinks he's so happy now. Won't that make it just that much funnier when he falls on his @ss again and makes a fool of himself?
I guarantee that he will go on and make some other unsuspecting female a victim to his self-righteous blubber, thank God it isn't you anymore! So now that my he!!-hole of a life was ended today - we can go out and hit the town. Watch out all you eligible men, there are at least two good ones out there for you now! Yee-ha! ;D
Re: So The Possible Truth Comes Out atd74: Thanks JMN...
Right back at ya... you FIRECRACKER you ;D
