adios, sweetie

adios, sweetie nervouskitten: Dear sweetie,

I'm sorry for talking smack about you on teh intarweb.

That's not going to keep me from continuing to do it though.

Every blog comment,  every time my cell goes off to tell me I have a new message on myspace, is an affirmation that I'm not insane for being unhappy here. What right do you have to scare me like that? You've felt insecure for one whole day. I've been lugging around that beast of a headache for, like, five years. Yeah. I said it again. 5 years, dude. It's a long time.
It wasn't until we moved out here and I started to have interaction with other people that I realized what was going on. There's a word for men who take their wives far away from their families and isolate them from any hope of a peer group. I'm not brave enough to say it yet, but one day maybe you will realize that you almost broke me.

You say I wasted 10 years of your time? Yeah, so I guess all the vacations, holidays, and meals I cooked for you were worthless. Way to invalidate the way I've been kissing your a** for the last, like, forever.

Don't worry. I promised I wouldn't tell your parents, and I won't. I will tell them I am leaving because I am chronically unhappy, and let you continue to lie to them forever, about whatever you'd like. Please feel free to tell them that you still make enough money that I don't have to work. And explain to them that you just don't want to live in the house they bought us anymore. I'm sure they'll appreciate that. It was supposed to be our inheiritance from them. So sad that you couldn't be bothered to tell them the truth.

I hope you can straighten yourself out. I really wanted to be with you, to be a loveable scamp and have adventures with you. But I just can't do this anymore. 

Take care of yourself, because I won't be around to do it anymore.

Re: adios, beavis trapped: [quote author=nervouskitten link=topic=28698.msg279229#msg279229 date=1147321481">
There's a word for men who take their wives far away from their families and isolate them from any hope of a peer group. I'm not brave enough to say it yet, but one day maybe you will realize that you almost broke me.
[/quote">

Ive spent countless hours wondering why mine did this as well. If he had any doubt about us I wonder why he would have me move so far and give up so much only to leave me after 6 short months here. If I had any doubt about him and if the tables were turned, I would have never done that to him. Never. I wouldnt have even asked it of him. It seems unreasonably cruel.  Yes, broken...I can relate.

You will get yourself back. Your words are filled with conviction and even if you dont always feel the resolve that you had when you wrote this post, remind yourself that you did. Its there. I can hear it.


 Re: adios, beavis nervouskitten: Thanks for the response. Again, further proof that I'm not some heinous shrew. Oh, the resolve is totally there. Really, I'm just waiting because I need help to get out. I can't drive, so someone is going to physically have to come get me, or else I will order a cab ahead of time. meh. this totally blows.