I am tired of the roller coaster!

I am tired of the roller coaster! mikeymcadam: How do I strengthen my mind and feel better about myself after my divorce?  Everything that bothered me about myself before the divorce has been exacerbated.  I am tired of how I feel when I wake up, and I am tired of not having control of my mind.  Any advice from people whom went or are going through the same thing as I am that worked for them would be much appreciated.  I feel like I am knotted up inside and can't relax.  Can someone just knock me out or erase my way of thinking.  My self esteem has been destroyed (I don't think I ever had much).  The funny thing is people tell me I am good looking and have a great personality.  But I want to feel that.  I am 28 and not living my life to its fullest potential, I haven't been, but want to start.  But HOW? [glow=red,2,300"> I don't want to be depressed anymore![/glow">
[move"> [glow=red,2,300"> Thanks OJAR![/glow">   [/move">  

I constantly think how great it would be to take my surfboards and leave to mexico forever and become a surf hermit. 


Re: I am tired of the roller coaster! Hopeless: It must take a long time to get completely over the pain of the divorce.  I am here 9 months later and sometimes feel like it was the day she told me it was over.  I know that the duration of the low times diminishes over time, and the frequency of them also.  But they will/do happen as the months progress.  I suppose that someday I will not have this pain, I just cannot answer how long it lasts.
 Re: I am tired of the roller coaster! tomuchpain:     mikeym I am sorry that you have found yourself on this s****Y rollercoaster ride but now that you are here you better just get comfortable because your are strapped in for a long ride.
  I don't know how many times in the last month I have said "I don't want to ride this ride anymore.  I just want to get off."  But no matter how many times I say this the rollercoaster just keeps going.  It will get easier but be prepaired for the bad days.  They will come on quick and without warning.
  The best advice I can give you is to get out whether its just going for a walk or a kayak trip just get out and do something....anything it really will help to get your mind off it.  Also keep posting and reading. 
    As for the self esteem i know exactly how you feel.  Don't worry it will come back with time.  You can't expect to have any self esteem after going though the hell that you went through.  Like I said just give it time.
 Re: I am tired of the roller coaster! brokenbaby: Coming from somone who has tried the hermit thing....I would only go out to my yard to garden...don't do it. You will have to go back into the world again at some point and you will kick yourself because of all you missed.

I dont know where you are at in this or how long it's been but the thoughts do ease up. The waves of depression start to come less frequently and you do begin to discover yourself and your self esteem again.  Mine was totally lost. I gave it to him.

I still think, I just want this to stop, for it to be over.  For him it was easy.  It is easy for those who suppress everything and just move on.  It is harder to do what you are doing and face all the emotions.  You should put that in your self-esteem basket.  You are facing one of the biggest monsters life can throw at you.
 Re: I am tired of the roller coaster! fkunone: [quote author=mikeym link=topic=29554.msg289093#msg289093 date=1149010181">
How do I strengthen my mind and feel better about myself after my divorce?  ....

I constantly think how great it would be to take my surfboards and leave to mexico forever and become a surf hermit. 


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You answered your question.  I agree w/ others.  It's gonna take time, but doing something you enjoy is a start. 

So, Mexico...yes (just vacation though)... surf...yes...hermit...NO.