I had sex with my wife last night

I had sex with my wife last night just_me_detroit: Around 11 I am still not sleeping. I head down stairs to why she hasn't come to bed. Her show isn't quite over yet. The first thing she says is "what are you checking up on me". No says I. Just couldn't sleep and was wondering what you were doing. She is on the floor. I sit behind her and gently rub her shoulders. She doesn't pull away. But does get up after the show finishes (about 1 minute later). I head up to bed. She goes to the bathroom and then comes up. We get into bed and I begin rubbing her back and shoulders again. She doesn't pull away. This progresses and we begin to make love. This is the first time she speaks. She asked me why I am doing this. I tell her that I know that we have problems and I know that you don't think you love me. I tell her that even though this is tough that we don't have to hate each other. I tell her that I am tired of fighting. We make love. I know that I am getting her good, but here's my secret. While doing this my heart was cold. It was a lie. I needed sex! I used my wife last night. This may be the first time I have ever used anybody in this way before. I got what I needed. I didn't let her finish though. Like I said I was using her to get what I needed. The sex felt so good. It was such a release for me. I also have my proof that I am doing better, and I can get over her. Physically it was GREAT! Emotionally I was cold. From her I sensed mixed emotions. She obviously was getting physical pleasure. I think she also was feeling sad about us. Missing what was us. I also sensed that she felt what we were doing was wrong. I wonder if she felt like she was cheating on Sussane. But I don't care.
Re: I had sex with my wife last night NO DATE: my wife and I were separated for almost a year before the actual divorce was finalised and we used to call this "mercy" sex. as in we both needed the sex but it was purely a physical thing for both of us. it was the one thing worth savoring about the entire marriage. but don't make the same mistake
I  did!! one of those times she got pregnant and although i now have a beautiful son we are guilty of bringing him into a bad situation {true story} so be very carefull!!!!
Re: I had sex with my wife last night fkunone: [quote author=just_me_detroit link=topic=30057.msg296416#msg296416 date=1150122213">
I wonder if she felt like she was cheating on Sussane. But I don't care.
[/quote">

SUSSANE!?

Sorry dude.

Anyway, I figure at this point for me, no sex with the ex (although, in a horny sense, she's f*cking hot).  It can confuse things, but since you crossed the line, do you feel confused?  I didn't get that sense in your post.

And no, I don't think I'll cross the line knowing who she's been with.
Re: I had sex with my wife last night just_me_detroit: Well No, I'm not feeling confused.
That is the best part about it. I have grown so much, and can love myself for who I am. I am ready for what is going to happen. Being able to cope with everything that happened yesterday without getting my up hopes is proof that I will survive. This makes me very happy.

My wife has not cheated on me. At least I don't think so. Sussane is her good friend. And after we seperate or divorce will probably be my wife's lover. I believe they are emotionally attached already. I just wonder if she feels any guilt for being with me when she is starting to commit to Sussane.
Re: I had sex with my wife last night Lumpy: [quote author=just_me_detroit link=topic=30057.msg296595#msg296595 date=1150138236">

My wife has not cheated on me. At least I don't think so. Sussane is her good friend. And after we seperate or divorce will probably be my wife's lover. I believe they are emotionally attached already.
[/quote">

Maybe not physically. To me, the emotional affair is just as bad if not worse. I consider it to be cheating.