Problems Dealing with Ex-MIL mom2jared: I am having problems with my Ex- Mother-in Law (MIL). When it is my day(s) with my 2.5 year old son, my Ex-MIL is constantly calling me to make sure I am feeding Jared well, etc. I am getting sick of her telling me how to raise my son. I may not be the smartest or greatest mother in the world but I do have some instincts. My self esteem is way down because of Ex and his meddling mother. She even had the audacity to tell me that I put my job in front of my child because I have to put Jared into his preschool from 8 to 5 so I can work full-time at my job. I was working from home since Jared was born on the days that I have Jared (Ex and I have shared custody) but as of August, my boss wants me in the office five days a week, eight hours a day. Ex MIL feels that Jared is too young to be in preschool for a full day and wants him to be there only until 1:30 P.M. I told Ex MIL that I don’t have any other choice and she told me that maybe I could talk to my boss again. I have exhausted that option and my boss said that I either come back full-time or look for another job. I need this income to support myself and Jared and I really need the benefits because I am a Diabetic and need my insurance. No insurance company will sign me up because I am a full blown Diabetic. As long as I am employed by my current company, I am covered by insurance.
Ex MIL feels that since she is paying for Jared’s daycare that she has the right to dictate how long he is there. I told her that me and my parents would pay whatever it costs to keep Jared there all day but she will not budge and Ex agrees with her (of course). According to my divorce document, I can’t do anything without Ex’s approval. I would have to go back to Court and I really don’t want to do that nor do I have the money to do that. I am barely making ends meat as it is and have to keep asking my parents for money to help me out because my salary barely covers my living expenses. Ex doesn’t have to pay for child support because at the time we were divorced he wasn’t working and since I was, the Judge felt that I could support myself. Ex said that I was lucky that I didn’t have to pay him.
Ex MIL wants her husband to pick up Jared from preschool on the days that I have him and will keep Jared until I can pick him up after my job ends at 5 p.m. That is all well and good but Ex FIL is not in the best of health and I am sure that he will have to go to Doctor appointments, etc. When I said that to Ex MIL she told me that was none of my business. My parents feel that I should let them do what they want and they will realize on their own it is not working and then I can go ahead and do what I want. We have had problems in the past with Jared needing to see a Neurologist at the recommendation of his pediatrician and Ex and his mother didn’t feel he needed it and I kept fighting them on it and the minute I gave up and let it ride, they decided to make the appointment with the Neurologist.
I can no longer deal with these people and I don’t know what else to do. My Counselor gave me a book called “Toxic In-Laws” which I am currently reading. Is there anything else that I can read that will help me get a backbone with these people? I am so tired of this and I am stressed out which is not helping my health. :-[
Thanks!
Ilana
Re:Problems Dealing with Ex-MIL Katie Wesley: I can't remember the name of it, but there is a book that I know of. I'll find it and write back later.
Re:Problems Dealing with Ex-MIL mom2jared: Is the book called “Toxic People” or “Toxic In-Laws”? I am currently reading those two books right now.
Re:Problems Dealing with Ex-MIL seth: What a coincidence. I think I saw that book in the bookstore where I go to the self-help section every day at lunch... I just read the books on relationships and, as a 28 year-old man, just kind of try to blend in there... No shame.
