Army psycho CYTOTOXIC: [center"> [/center"> [color=Pink"> [/color"> Well im not really sure where to begin.. But here it goes i have been married since 1998 to my ex well still am.. we meet in 1996 and had a daughter prior to us getting married... now he deployed to iraq when the war broke out about a year ago.. well i thought evryhting was ok with our relationship ???
so did our families i never saw what happened to me comming he deployed to iraq for 6 months and in those 6 months he fell in love with a girl in his unit the Freaking S*** Knew he was married and so was she.. he came back from iraq acting really weird he totally ignored me and my daughter did not want to touch me "his excuse was the war" Yeah right he started being abusive mentally and Physically he starded saying he had another personality named chuck in the Closet "now i see it was all an act to cover his affair.. well i starded catching on that it was not the war but a freaking girl from his unit making him crazy.. one day he tried choking me infront of our daughter for touching his cell phone
thats when i knew it was all true i confronted him about it and he said it was all rummors that there was a rummor that he slept with her in iraq but that it was not true..Yeah right well needles to say the worst happened but maybe its the best thing that could have ever happened he walked out on me and my daughter in the middle of the night i was crying holding on to my daughter not to leave he did anyways he left me with no money no transportation and mind you i was in germany without knowing anyone there..i did not know who to contact and when i finally asked for help from my neighbors they told me what they had seen.. That he was being with this other girl all over germany and in iraq they had deployed with him. they gave me all the details it felt like someone had droped a hot bucket of water over my body.. i told the chain of command about the abuse and about what had happend they did nothing to help me at all.. they covered evrything and made me seem like i was the one to blame..it was the worst humiliation ever.. its been 6 months since i came back to california ;D
i have had so much support from my family..
But i still find my self very sad and depressed and wonder when it will end.. I have not filled for Divorce and he has not eaither what do you guys advice me to do? well i know what i should do but i just cant seem to want to file for divorce..I figure once he files then i know its really over is that wrong for me to do??? Im still lost and confussed and evryone seems to tell me i should get over it and somedays it feels like i have.. But then i fall again my memories haunt me.. and there is not a day that goes by that i dont think and wonder how he is.. Is that Normal?
I mean after all why should i care he did put me though hell and the worst humiliation ever.. :'(
"Last i heard she left her husband and they were now daiting" Must be nice to just get up and have no responsobility what so ever.. its sad that the military knows of this kind of relationships going on in the military branches and dont do nothing about it i have learned that this happens a whole lot in the army..The only regreat that i have is that i never confronted the little S*** i wish i would of had her infronty of me for at least 5 minutes but i sure do have a lot of ugly pics of her ugly mug that i throw darts at.. ;D
thanks for listening ...
Re:Army psycho justmenow: First of all, welcome to OJAR. I'm so sorry you have to be here with us, but you came to the right place. What you are going through is awful, but not terribly uncommon. The good news is that your husband's affair probably won't be able to stand on it's own two feet after Iraq... That's usually the way it works. Right now it's a fantasy, but eventually reality will set in.
I hate to say this, but if your husband is dating, it's time to cut the loser free. Do it for yourself and for your daughter. Don't put yourself through this humiliation. I know you're reeling right now, and this isn't the optimal time to make life-changing decisions, but Sweetie, it isn't going to get better. The sooner you cut your losses and move on, the sooner you will be on your way to a better life. I know it doesn't seem like it right now.
You come here to "emotionally vomit" anytime. The people out here are great and we all know what you're going through and what you're going to go through, because we've been there/done that.
Good luck and big hugs.
Re:Army psycho CYTOTOXIC: thanks "justmenow" and thanks for your advice and yeah i know i need to cut the slime out of my life the sooner the better.. but its just that when im about to do it well go see a lawyer i want to vomitt it feels like im not ready for the whats comming.. is that normal?
Re:Army psycho justmenow: I spent the first meeting with my lawyer just sobbing. Yes, you are perfectly normal. Divorce is hard, and it sucks, but once it is over...well...life goes on.
