How long it takes to forget??? Baby1234: Hello... I have been divorced for one month, separated for 3. Yes, things went fast, my x and I are very impulsive people. I asked for divorce because I was unhappy with him and I tought there was no way to fix things, although I knew I loved him. He was devastated. One month later (we were still living together) I told him I wanted to make things work, and although he was hurt and afraid, we spent a wonderful night together. Two days later he said he couldn't take me back, and I realized that he had someone already...
He filed for divorce, we had our fights over his date (she would even call him at my house and he would answer!!!) and over money - he kept EVERYTHING and started taking the girl over my house 2 weeks after I had moved out. However, he would constantly cry and show that he still loved me...
It's been almost 2 months since I moved out - the deal was to sell the house, but then he "changed his mind". He's been either very sensitive or very aggressive - either he cries for "no reason" or he tells me how happy he is with his new life. I did let him know that I respected his decision but I would be here if he wanted to try again. I pray everyday for a reconciliation, but I am afraid that I am holding on false hopes. How do I move on? How long do we take to give up hopes? He changed everything in that house to "erase" the memories of us, but my very own yellow-craftroom, which I paited and decorated all by myself he never touched, "I didn't have money to pait it" he told me. I just want to wake up one day and he is no longer the first thing I think about... How long will that take???
Thank you so much for you help...
Re:How long it takes to forget??? blue_eyes: I remember still caring for my exhusb. it wasn't so long ago, not really, but my feelings for him are gone and have been for several months. Anyway, now I am dealing with feelings of my exbf that I still care for. I remember writing a post when I was separated..it was called something like "when does my heart start agreeing with my head?" For me, I knew that I had made the right choice to divorce but I still loved him or at least cared for him.
I don't know how long it takes...but one thing is for sure you have a lot of things to sort out, and it certainly sounds like he does also. It's done by taking one day at a time to work through things. I recommend counseling, it's very healthy to have an impartial person to talk to, I also write a journal often when I am my most depressed. Writing helps me to get my feelings out and figure out what I'm feeling and why.
My divorce was a very long time coming....years. It sounds like yours was much faster. One thing is for sure, if you are going to divorce you have to make up your mind to get through it and then go about doing it. One day you will wake up and your ex will not be the first thing on your mind and the horrible cloud over you will have passed and there will be sunshine..but it does take time.
Good luck! Hang in there! Remember what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger!
