Unsent?! Oops!!4 Katie Wesley: This is the final letter that I left for them. I'm done after this, I'm done. I'm all closured out! This letter doesn't sound as mean as it was meant to, but nearly everything I write has personal significance or is a personal joke between both or all of us. All I can say is be careful when choosing your friends.
All those "tight leashed" spouses are on somewhat the right track. I don't mean hooked to the point where no freedom is allowed, but I've learned boundaries must be mutually discussed and respected.
There is no security anywhere in this world. The sooner we stop looking for it, the freer we become. Sooner or later everyone will let us down in some way. I'm not being cynical -really. Life is change and with change comes surprise (good or bad). We've got to keep our eyes open without being paranoid. Expectations are something we create for ourselves. Create expectations that are realistic and will benefit your experience in this life. Okay, enough of the soap box. Here's the letter:
Dear Laurabug and My Love,
Leaving this box is the last act of closure on my part. After a long ponder, I decided I have no use for any of this stuff.
At this point in time, it would be untruthful to say that I care nothing for either one of you. My abhorrence and disgust with both of you gives it away. Obviously, if a person hates someone there must be an equally strong polar emotion inducing such hatred. Since I loath you with every fiber of my being, I must also still love you on some level. I’m repulsed by the idea of it. I resent your waste of my life and my time. It doesn’t help that I haven’t quite become accustomed to the twisting knife in back. Must be a lot of love there, cause I’ve gotta tell ya –OUCH!
Now that I’ve confessed that I disdainfully still care about you, I’ll explain what the two of you will become to me and what roles you’ll play in my future. Someday soon, I won’t think about what you’re doing, who you’re with, where you are, or when whatever happens. I won’t slip up and use any of our stupid little jokes or sayings.
Just like a piece of garbage, I’ll crumple you up and throw you away. Damn. All the better people I could have been with, and all the energy I could have put into something worth while –I wasted.
Thinking lightly on it, I discovered that neither one of you really mean that much to me. Indifference shouldn’t be too hard to achieve. It’ll be like you never even existed. Well, not quite –bad dreams, hazy faces, bombs dropping from the sky, end of the world kind of night-terror stuff. It’s a damn good thing that the myth about dying in a dream… isn’t true! Thank God, I can barely remember my dreams! Really though, my ability to forget details is remarkable. I won’t even think or care enough to consider telling you “I don’t care about you anymore.”
While I’m still carrying this fury, I’ll take this chance to tell you what I would’ve been thinking in the near future had I the concern: “I don’t care if you’re happy or sad. I care nothing about anything having to do with either one of you. I don’t care whether you live or die, because it doesn’t affect me.”
I won’t be bothered with your lack of existence.
To conclude yet another precious waste of my energy, I would like to say: Laura, good luck with that integrity thing (Sorry, Marvin). Shannon, you can now officially and proudly accept the title of Liar. Sir Liar, chivalry is indeed dead (It is what It does). Deal with it.
Well, as it’s been said before “Que será, será!” or whateva-- Right?
See ya when I see ya,
“The Love of My Life,” “The Only Girl For Me,” “Star-crossed Lover,” “My Baby,” “My Love,” “It,” “#2 with a wing of 3,” “Fugley,” “The Best Friend I’ve Ever Had,” or better known as “Fucked Up the Ass”- Oh, yea Shannon I believe you remember that night. So I’ll just leave you with:
“Your Katherine”
