IS IT TO SOON TO DATE! JASPER: Ok I met this guy and he wants to take me to the movies and out for dinner it has been so long since I've done any of these things and would love to go.Is it to soon for me to be dating I've only been seperated for about 2 months but we have talked about seeing other people and he was ok with that or so he said as long as he dont have to see it or hear about it.I'm so nervous about this because I have still been sleeping with stbx and seeing him almost everyday.I want break that cycle and the only way I feel I will be able to is to start dating.What do you all think is it to soon?I dont think he is seeing anyone else yet but somebody has to make that first step right?
Re: IS IT TO SOON TO DATE! atd74: Jasper,
If you and your stbx have agreed that you are each allowed to see other people than it should be ok. You said you want to go so go. In fact I think you may be right when you say maybe this is what you need to get you away from your s2bx.
See what happens with this other guy. Let him know up front where you stand though so that neither one of you is misled. Take it slow and see where it leads. You will either decide not to continue to see this guy or you will find him a refreshing change from your s2bx. This may bring you closer to a decision on your divorce. It may give you the confidence you need to get away from your s2bx and stop relying on him for comfort, support, friendship etc. Things aren't working for you two and that's why you are separated.
You shouldn't be clinging to each other right now. You should go out and explore all your opportunities and broaden your horizons.
Good luck and let us know how it turns out! I hope you find you are pleasantly surprised!!! ;)
Re: IS IT TO SOON TO DATE! Bob-Bob: Hi,
It really depends on your trust for your STBX, Things that go on in your life after the seperation should be your own business but unfortunatley they are not, it really can get messy if you are going through a contested divorce. because when it comes to the division of property, child custody, alimony, child support, they will (even in a no-fault divorce state) take into consideration "the circumstances of the divorce" which means that the court could see this as adultery. If you really trust your STBX then yeah by all means enjoy yourself but just be careful not to put yourself in a bad situation.
I am on my 48th day of seperation, She started seeing someone before divorce was ever mentioned and I have been coping with the loss of my spouse. we are doing an uncontested divorce but I am prepared to fight her at the drop of a hat if she starts mentioning anything about fighting for anything.
Re: IS IT TO SOON TO DATE! notmyself: stop sleeping with him! ;D and yes, if you feel ready go ahead and date. i was separated for almost 2 months before i started. i was looking to start, ran into an old friend, and things just happened. we are still dating and things are going very well. we are moving in together. he is so much more than x was in just so many ways. be kind to yourself and have fun. just because you date someone doesn't mean anything permanent or the like. if you keep sleeping with x i don't think you will never be able to work through all the emotions and what not. good luck
