So upset

So upset momuv3: Damnit.  I was doing so well up until this week.  Have had a few conversations with stbxh and it has really set me back.  He was supposed to meet with my oldest daughter tonight for dinner and talk about why he left.  She was in Australia when he left and she has not spoken with him since and she wanted some closure.  When she left at the beginning of June things were fine.  She comes home in the middle of July and life as she knew it went to hell.  I didn't tell her until she got home as I didn't want to ruin her trip.  Well, he called her this afternoon and said that he couldn't meet for dinner anymore but was coming by to get his boat and was going to pick her up and she could ride along with him.  Then he calls her again and tells her he can't even do that.  I imagine he probably has a date or something. I saw him pull up and I didn't even go outside.  How does such a loser have such an effect on me?  I feel like I am back to square one emotionally.  I guess its because everytime he calls its usually about one more step towards a divorce or picking up something else and it just picks away at me.  I am crying but not sure why.  How come I can be doing so well and then fall on my face again? 

I guess Im mad too that he is the one who left and refused to get help for his addictions and throw his marriage away, why in the hell does he have so much help from people?  They have loaned him money, gave him furniture, helped him find a house, a place for his boat.  He seems like he is moving on nicely and I am stuck in a lonely hole.  I never go anywhere and just wallow in all of this. 

I hate him for who he is and what he has done to me and my kids, not to mention his own.  Why does he deserve them even talking to him?  He was in the garage earlier hooking up his boat and my other daughter (15) goes out there and I can hear her laughing and making small talk with him like nothing even happened!!!  HE LEFT US, why is she talking with him like he is her best friend still?  I know that is really immature as they are just kids, but I want him to hurt and feel rejected.  He doesn't seem like he has even had to hurt at all. 

Uggh.  I am so upset now.  I want him to fall in a hole and not come out to see him anymore.  Not likely where I live.  Small town and bound to see him alot. 
Re: So upset anewday: (((hugs))))

I absolutely understand where you are because I am right there with you.  Everytime I see him I go through exactly what you are describing.
Re: So upset spooky: You're right, he doesn't seem to be in much pain. That isn't fair. Have you talked with your daughter about it? How does she feel? I remember you telling about her coming home and being upset, so her acting like nothing is wrong is odd to me. ???
Re: So upset momuv3: [quote author=spooky link=topic=33046.msg339576#msg339576 date=1155345086">
You're right, he doesn't seem to be in much pain. That isn't fair. Have you talked with your daughter about it? How does she feel? I remember you telling about her coming home and being upset, so her acting like nothing is wrong is odd to me. ???
[/quote">

I have 2 teenage daughters and one teenage son.  My 17 year old was the one who was gone and is having a tougher time and also the one who was supposed to meet with him tonight.  She realized after he came into her work and she ducked to avoid him that she better have her chat with him as she will be seeing him from time to time. My 15 year old who pretty much has blinders on to the rest of the world is the one that seems oblivioius  with the whole thing.  I really don't want her to be sad and hurt, but I don't want my stbxh feeling like he has done no damage.  He has. 
Re: So upset spooky: Oh, I'm sorry, I misunderstood. So she "has blinders on"? Too bad, I'd guess that will make it diffucult in it's own unique ways. I assume you tried to have a good talk with her? Best of luck to all of you.