Depression, Antidepressants & Marriage

Depression, Antidepressants & Marriage seth: I've posted here before but I'm interested in hearing more about how depression and mental health issues affect people's marraiges. ???

My ex-girlfriend and I planned to marry and we cohabited for nearly seven years (the seven-year itch, again) before she left me April 3 at approximately 9:28 p.m. I'll never forget the moment she actually walked out the door, which is funny because I remember carrying her through it when we moved in just two years before....

Anyway, she is currently on Celexa (serotonin) and Wellbutrin (dopamine) as well as a sleeping aid with antidepressant properties. Just before she left, she went off of her orthocyclic birth control pill, probably screwing even more with her hormones.

The fact that she was bisexual meant that starting off I already had a tough time fully satisfying her desires, but after the prescriptions drugs I had an even harder time. Her sex drive went completely downhill and I don't remember the last time she had an orgasm with me.... I've read that taking SSRI antidepressants not only messes with your sex drive but with romantic attachment, sometimes inducing apathy toward loved ones....

We were once so close. This came as a complete shock to me....

I'm interested in hearing about experiences with how depression and depression treatments affects marital relations....
Re:Depression, Antidepressants & Marriage SherylLynn: I am not sure about those drugs specifically, but my husband was diagnosed with depression and started taking Paxil. On the paxil our relationship was great, however, it had one side effect. He could never achieve an orgasm. Nice for me, but not for him.

He would go off the paxil and then life was hell. He would say he didn't want to be on the paxil to stay married, but on the paxil it messed up his sexuality. I would like to say it was the paxil that made him cheat, but it wasn't. He wasn't taking the paxil when he started having affairs, but I know the paxil didn't help when he did start having affairs, because he was never sexually satisfied with me. He needed more than one person to be able to get what he needed.

I know that the medication was an issue, but it also helped quite often with his depressive behavior.

I am not sure if this is helpful or not. If you need to talk again, please feel free.

Sheryl
 Re:Depression, Antidepressants & Marriage seth: Sheryl,

Thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear about your husband cheating on you.... That must have been very painful. I am antagonized by thoughts of my ex-girlfriend having a liftime of sex with not just one man but of course many.... I wanted to be the last man she ever had sex with.... Aside from concerns of the flesh, I loved her very much and just wish I could get a hug from her tonight.... God I miss that woman....

Speaking of medication, she actually said that she questioned my mental health and had made my getting "help" a precondition to our marriage. I tried Zoloft for a while but it just blurred my vision, slowed my cognition--though it was hard to wipe the grin from my face.... I ultimately concluded that I didn't need the medication and went off of it when the two-month prescription ran out, which really pissed her off....

It was so weird, I thought we had really made an attachment over the past seven years but she was out the door with no prior warning.... She said she decided "very recently" and there was no chance for any counselling or reconciliation of any kind--in fact, she'll never call me again. I can't believe that my best friend of eight or nine years never wants to see me again. I gave her a Tiffany necklace for her birthday just a few weeks before she left but I recently spent my 29th drinking by myself....

Depression really messes with relationships.... Usually, I hear that it's the woman who suffers from depression, not the other way around.... I know what you mean about the sexual side effects. When I was on Zoloft I had trouble with orgasms too.... and I can't remember the last time my ex had an orgasm with me....

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I just sit in front of my computer at work and read about depression and medication and it's already been three months. I'm so glad I didn't step in front of the morning train when this just happened. I just feel like time is flying--she left right before the spring flowers came out and now summer is flying by.... Soon it will be fall and then winter and then a year will have passed. I hope I'm able to put this behind me soon but I've heard that this takes a year or two sometimes.

People tell me that she did me a favor by leaving, what with being depressed and medicated and all of that. It doesn't feel like much consolation because I lost her and I don't know how I'll ever replace her. I thought we were going to spend the rest of our existences together and she doesn't even seem bothered by it. You sound sad, she said to me the last time we talked. What planet is she living on? I don't know about her, but I'm going through a very painful divorce....

It's all I can think about. I miss her and the dog we had for six years.... It's the saddest thing in the world. How can you mess for someone for so many years and then be okay with never seeing that person again?

Just before she left she was still saying that she loved me.... She said all the signs were there and acted exasperated with me but, to me, it was very sudden. I'm still reeling from the surprise....
 Re:Depression, Antidepressants & Marriage seth: The worst part is that I'm really beating myself up about what I did to end the relationship. She said she questioned my mental health. Yes, I was irritable and grouchy but I was also very affectionate and loving. I think I might have been frustrated with my situation. If she had just given me the opportunity I would have done anything to work it out--counselling, living apart, whatever it took....

But to just leave me forever is so terrible....
 Re:Depression, Antidepressants & Marriage twetifb: I m not sure if my story will help, but I wanted to share anyway. My husband (I m not sure yet if I m leaving), has been suffering from depression for four years this August. He s taken so many different medications, that I can t even begin to name them all. Unfortunately the side effects have been so unbearable in one way or another, that now he is not taking the medicine and trying to fight it on his own. At one point he took a combination of Paxil, Wellbutrin, and sleeping aid called Trazodone. At first he felt optimistic and had more energy. Then after a couple of months the sex drive was completely gone. No matter what I tried, there was nothing. He couldn t perform and definitely couldn t achieve an orgasm. He started to feel inadequate and then slowly he went downhill again. Needless to say he stopped his medicine, fell even deeper into depression, tried to commit suicide and ended up in the hospital for a couple of weeks.

The doctors said that they use different combinations of medicines purposely to lessen the negative side effects. So we tried a new combo, removing the Paxil and substituting Effexor. That seemed perfect because he felt great, his sex drive sky rocketed, and he said his orgasms were more intense than ever. Well then about 15 months later, he stopped taking his medicine completely. He said that he couldn t feel any emotion or feeling when he listened to music, watched a movie, read a book, those kind of everyday little feeling we take for granted. Plus he said that the sexual feelings were too intense and at the same time not pleasurable. So, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and now he s trying to combat his illness a naturally. That s basically where we are now.

  Family Home Today Banner Family Home Today Banner