Why do I let him keep hurting me?

Why do I let him keep hurting me? Steph1973: I talked to my STBX last night. He called me while I was at church and I noticed a missed call so I called him back. I know it was a stupid thing and I shouldn't have done it. All that ended up happening was I was hurt and he was "happy". He wanted me to get some of his stuff out of the storage building for him and leave it where he could come by and pick it up. Then the conversation turned to "why did you do this to me?" I am still trying to understand why he did what he did but I know I will never get the answer from him. He just literally jumped on the first thing to come along. I mean, she's 43 almost 44 for God's sake and she has 6 kids. WTF???!!!??? How is that better than a woman who supported you for 13 years, who has just lost over 100 lbs so that she could have your baby, and who always took care of you? I just don't get it. He keeps telling me that he did nothing wrong, that a man can't commit adultery only a woman can. Please, just say whatever you want to try to justify what you did. Nothing will ever make what you did right, Nothing! But, if that's what you believe, then what does that make her? She is still married but she's with you. Doesn't that make her an adulteress in your skewed belief? It sure sounds like it. I guess that you two deserve each other.
I ended up torturing myself asking stupid questions. I am going to try my best not to talk to him anymore. He is still harping on me putting him on my insurance. Well, I've got news for you buddy, it ain't never going to happen. Ever! I will not pay any of my hard earned money for you to have health insurance while you are living with another woman. Are you stupid? Do you actually think that I am stupid enough to do that? You don't deserve anything I have to offer. When you left me, you left everything about me behind, including all that I did for you. I just can't believe that he still thinks I owe him something. Please! Give me a break.
I have got to stop doing this to myself. I have got to let go. It hurts like hell though. And what makes it so crazy is that I know that I am better off without him and his crap. I know she's going to get tired of it too. When she figures out that she is going to have to take care of him instead of the other way around, he's going to have a rude awakening. He's never even been able to support himself, much less a woman with 3 small children and 3 teenagers. I always supported him. He spends money like water with no thought of paying bills or anything else. In that respect, I don't miss him at all. I have my own money now to spend as I please. He won't get a dime of it, ever again.
I still don't understand why this happened and I am tearing myself apart trying to find an answer that I may never find. This has got to stop. How can I make it stop? Not having any contact with him at all? I just want this to be over. I am tired of hurting, I am tired of crying. He doesn't deserve my tears. I am better than that. I am a better person than both of them.
Re:Why do I let him keep hurting me? Butterflygirl: You are better than both of them. But again I think your heart has to catch up to your mind.

Right now just try really hard to focus on getting a new place and not talking to him. Take time every morning to ask the big man to walk with you through the day.

You can do this.

You need something to fill you heart right now. Your head is screwed on straight so that's a good sign. Atleast you know that you could not take him back and that is 1/2 the battle won.

Stay strong and just remember that things were not always good and that you did take care of him. He provided nothing for you but some companionship. That's all..nothing more.

Once you find something (hobby, sport) or someone (ojar friends, girl friends, puppies) to replace that you will fill that gap. The rest is easy after that.

Good Luck and Stay Strong!!!
 Re:Why do I let him keep hurting me? cloud: I totally agree with the previous post.
You are in a tough spot because you can't believe he did what he did and you may think he has a good reason that he can share with you that has a lot of heartfelt emotion behind it and that would help the pain.

There may not be a good explanation. And he may be so far ahead in his mind in terms of this new relationship that he isn't thinking twice about your feelings, which is not a nice thing to do. I know--I'm feeling that now in my situation.

But if that's right, then he simply wouldn't think twice about asking for stuff to be pulled from storage. He's not in pain, why should you be?--he might think. Or he might not be spending the time to consider your feelings.

You need to draw the line in terms of putting him on your insurance. He's taking advantage of the situation by asking you to do that.

It's sounds trite, but be strong. And try to see his actions as being without emotion rather than negative emotion toward you. That may help a little. Just a suggestion.
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