Death vs Divorce...Divorce Doesn't Just Happen

Death vs Divorce...Divorce Doesn't Just Happen madmax: A lot of divorce self-help books compare divorce to the death of a loved one.  However, death of a loved one has finality...an ending point...the loved one had no control over their own death (except perhaps suicide).  After their death, the survivor just deals with it.

But not divorce...there IS no finality to it.  You both go on living.  Again, we're left with no choice but to deal with it...exept we know that it was a choice that was made.

I have talked to and heard of people that have been thru both.  One individual was widowed when his first wife died...he remarried, and his new wife divorced him.  In his opinion...divorce was worse.  My aunt lost her husband...and later consoled her son thru his divorce.  She concurred...the divorce had far worse ramifications.

My friends...we are realizing potentially the worst experience known to the human race.............by someones choice.

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The LAST thing I ever said to my wife was "I'm REALLY sorry".  She replied in an indifferent voice "It happens."  Maybe I think too much, but divorce doesn't just happen.  It is the result of a conscious decision of one (sometimes both) parties to end the relationship; whether it be thru infidelity, abuse or justifying it by concentrating on imperfections in the relationship.

How did we come to live in a world where 1/2 of the couples chose to (or are forced to) experience something worse than death in lieu of cherishing, nurturing and caring for a committed relationship...with all of the ups and downs that make it so great??

We (society) has definitely turned a wrong corner somewhere.  I wish I knew what happened...and I wish I lived in the time before it happened.
Re: Death vs Divorce...Divorce Doesn't Just Happen Crystal_Blue_024: Very insightful....
 Re: Death vs Divorce...Divorce Doesn't Just Happen gdaisygirl: Ahhh..but the one thing my husband said to me when he was trying to be hurtful and yet now I think it was one of the best things he said..

"the good thing about us is that we don't have to see eachother again!"

We don't have any kids together so that makes it possible. And I am thankful for that.

Gdaisy
 Re: Death vs Divorce...Divorce Doesn't Just Happen Freckles: [quote author=madmax link=topic=34984.msg367858#msg367858 date=1158864953">
A lot of divorce self-help books compare divorce to the death of a loved one.  However, death of a loved one has finality...an ending point...the loved one had no control over their own death (except perhaps suicide).  After their death, the survivor just deals with it.

But not divorce...there IS no finality to it.  You both go on living.  Again, we're left with no choice but to deal with it...exept we know that it was a choice that was made.

I have talked to and heard of people that have been thru both.  One individual was widowed when his first wife died...he remarried, and his new wife divorced him.  In his opinion...divorce was worse.  My aunt lost her husband...and later consoled her son thru his divorce.  She concurred...the divorce had far worse ramifications.

My friends...we are realizing potentially the worst experience known to the human race.............by someones choice.

--------------------------------

The LAST thing I ever said to my wife was "I'm REALLY sorry".  She replied in an indifferent voice "It happens."  Maybe I think too much, but divorce doesn't just happen.  It is the result of a conscious decision of one (sometimes both) parties to end the relationship; whether it be thru infidelity, abuse or justifying it by concentrating on imperfections in the relationship.

How did we come to live in a world where 1/2 of the couples chose to (or are forced to) experience something worse than death in lieu of cherishing, nurturing and caring for a committed relationship...with all of the ups and downs that make it so great??

We (society) has definitely turned a wrong corner somewhere.  I wish I knew what happened...and I wish I lived in the time before it happened.
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My ExWife was mentaly ill. She was Addicted to Alcohol/Drugs/Mental Helth pills etc

She was going Insane from taking all those things

There is nothing you can do when your Spouse has Rabies from Addictions

All thier Addictions bring Hostility/Madness

She left Me. She filed for Divorce. She was Hostile

And Yet SHE called me first week in april.

Saying *I love You , can I come back ?

Her saying I Quit all the Alcohol/Drugs etc etc

I think She finally Relised the Grass can't be Greener on the other side of the fence BECAUSE SHE is There !
:)

 Re: Death vs Divorce...Divorce Doesn't Just Happen sosad05: I agree that divorce must be worst then death. At least with death, its totally out of your control. You'll never see that person again. You probably were left with fond memories at least.

Divorce is nothing but pain...atty bills, damaging each other's characters, watching your x remarry, always wondering what could you have done different. 
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