Frustrated What should I do: Hi everyone.
I have a sittuation........ I think.
I have been married for 4 years and I'm 26.It all started when I caught my wife cheating on me with 3 other guys. This went on for like 7 months. I let it go that far thouhg. I just wanted to see how far it would go before I droped the bomb. I am a very patient guy. I actually enjoyed spying on her knowing everything she said, did and went. I was becoming quite good at it. I knew everything and anything about the guys she was with.
Anyway when I decided to tell her that I knew, I didn't get mad or even raise my voice. I just came out and said it. I asked her to tell me what went on and how many times, with who. I didn't however mention that I knew that there were 3 guys. I wanted her to tell me. She didn't though. So I had to bring that up also. She was shocked. I very casualy, told her that we have alot of work to do to keep this marriage going. I need to learn how to trust her again.
So, it's been 5 months later and now I am suspicous again. I know that there is a guy that she is talking to. This time I have went about it differently. I've emailed the guy and he tried to lie and say that nothing happened. I've got the emails and instant messages though to proove it.
She's always going somewhere, and sometimes she doesn't come home til 2a.m.
The other night she came home and had a bite mark on her breast. It was apparently a bug bite, she had scratched too hard. I don't know .... I've seen what a hicky looks like and I'm pretty darn sure that's what it is.
There always seems to be some elaborate excuse. No simple answers. I don't know I don't have solid proof that anything has happened other than meeting. I don't know what to do. I think I've put up with more than any other person would have. What should I do? ???
Re:Frustrated jason_stl: Ask her to leave. Help her pack her bags as quickly as she can.
Re:Frustrated leem03: You deserve so much better than that. I know exactly how you feel. I too was my own private investigator. I knew it all & still sat around & waited. And you know what, I'm still sitting here waiting & it's been two years since the start of his on again off again affair with her. You deserve a wife to love you and only you. Obvioulsy you are really too good of a person for her anyway if she's been out with 3 different men. I agree with Jason help her get out as fast as you can. It hurts like hell, I know, but the sooner the real hurt starts, the sooner the healing can begin.
Good Luck
Re:Frustrated sarao525: Get OUT while you have the strength and support.
Here at ojar we listen vent and lean on each other.
You obviously deserve better. Don't beat yourself up, just start over.
Re:Frustrated Lumpy: Dear WSID,
I'd like to paraphrase what Jason said. Screw asking her to leave, tell her too. After being caught with three men she still does it again? What leads you to think that she's ever gonna change? This woman obviously has no respect for you. I respect your ability to contain your anger regarding this but I do have trouble understanding it. Do you love her? What kind of relationship have you had not including the infidelity? I can't imagine being so blase' and unemotional about it. Guess that's just me. Hope things work out to your satisfaction.
