He wants to reconcile, I don't Sparky: Hi everybody,
Oh boy, here we go. It's been almost a month since we seperated and now he's talking reconciliation. I did not encourage him in that direction, but I was kind about it. I said, "Well, I think this a natural part of the grieving process" instead of "No way in hell!"
July 1st he moved 800 miles away, so I think it's safe to say that this is very hypothetical reconciliation. Has this happened to you? How do you deal w/this? I want to be firm about not wanting to reconcile, but I don't want to be nasty about it. Does there come a point where you need to be bitchy just so they can accept it and move on? Here I am cooking up possible scenarios that haven't even happened, but I tend to do that.
Thanks,
Sparky
Re:He wants to reconcile, I don't JustMe: It's happened to me. I told my stbx-wife that I didn't have any more love to try(which is true).
I could have said, "you beat the love out of me on mother's day during a discussion on how to bring more love into our marriage, so that's one of several reasons why" but that would have been more vicious and long-winded.
We cried our eyes out, but no matter how hard I tried, I just didn't have the heart to go on for us. And I told her that.
There are other ways to go about this, but you have to honest with yourself and him about what you're doing. For example, if there's the slightest hope that you could reconcile with some counseling, do it and be upfront with the therapist. They may be able to say things in a way that he'll get.
I'm not saying have the therapist tell him you two can't reconcile, but sometimes a third party can get your message across - that it takes two to reconcile and you don't want to.
Re:He wants to reconcile, I don't brokenman: My ex has called me two or three times crying and admitting "a mistake". I have no desire to attempt us again. I just stayed very businesslike, refused to meet in person, and never uttered a word of encouragement. She insisted that there was hope and I replied that there was none. She wanted to "start over" and I told her my strong beliefs about never being able to start over. It isn't fun. Hell, it messes me up for a few hours at least. However, the calls were always further apart and I haven't gotten another one in a few weeks now. That is about all I can offer. Good luck with yours.
Re:He wants to reconcile, I don't incoherentlonghorn: OMG...its been a year and mine is still pulling the I want to reconcile, although less frequently.
Unless there is any chance you want to reconcile, just say NO. Otherwise you may instill a false sense of hope, which can be detrimental to both of you.
Good luck.
LL
Re:He wants to reconcile, I don't ranger007: i would have almost wanted a call about reconsiliation
but after i left mine, she went to another guy, then another then another then another, and hasnt stopped since
i guess thats a good thing, but i think part of my heart would have liked to know that she wanted me back.....
