Take the verbal abuse quiz

Take the verbal abuse quiz Kitty: This is a list of abusive behaviors that you (or your loved one) might be experiencing right now. Look at this list; be honest with your answers. No one else is looking. Don't answer them with, "yes, but ..." Just answer yes or no to these questions. Then we'll talk about them at the bottom.

Does your spouse or significant other:
Hit, punch, slap, shove, or bite you?
Threaten to hurt you or your children?
Threaten to hurt friends or family members?
Have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?
Behave in an overprotective manner?
Become jealous without reason?
Prevent you from seeing family or friends?
Prevent you from going where you want, when you want?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Destroy personal property or sentimental items?
Deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or even the car?
Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
Force you to have sex against your will?
Force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy?
Insult you or call you derogatory names?
Use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children?
Humiliate you in front of your children?
Turn minor incidents into major arguments?
Abuse or threaten to abuse pets?
Withhold affection from you?
Now, if you were honest and answered them truthfully, here is a statement that might shock you. If you answered YES to even ONE of those questions, you are being verbally abused.

I realize that you may have said, "Well, yes, but he does it because he loves me, or because he worries about me, or he doesn't realize he's doing it." I want to take each one of those "justifications" and show you why it's just an excuse.

First of all, there is never any acceptable reason for physically hurting you. Not "Oh I didn't mean to," or "You just took it wrong." Not even "It was an accident," especially if it happens repeatedly.

As far as threats are concerned, threats are a means to coerce you into submission to what HE wants you to do. No human should be forced into doing anything they don't want to do. If he threatens to hurt you or your children or your family or even your pet, he is trying to MAKE you do what he wants. There is no acceptable excuse in the world to justify that one.

If he's prone to outbursts anger and jealousy, these are also methods of "keeping you in line." He knows that you will adjust YOUR behavior in an attempt to prevent HIM from acting in such a way. Being overprotective is simply a way to control what you do, by saying "Oh I just don't want you to get hurt." You are a big girl. You can handle yourself - he just wants you to think you can't.



This was a quiz I found that opened my eyes to behaviours I wasn't sure if it was my fault or not in my marriage.
There is NO excuse for another person to treat someone they love this way.
If you are in an abusive relationship please seek help as soon as possible.
Contact your family if possible and your local domestic abuse shelter for assistance.
Re: Take the verbal abuse quiz grendalkhan: From an (emotionally/ mentally) abused man:

Does your spouse or significant other:

Hit, punch, slap, shove, or bite you?  - No
Threaten to hurt you or your children? - No
Threaten to hurt friends or family members? - N
Have sudden outbursts of anger or rage? - No
Behave in an overprotective manner? No
Become jealous without reason? - No
Prevent you from seeing family or friends? - Tecnically, yes
Prevent you from going where you want, when you want? No
Prevent you from working or attending school? No
Destroy personal property or sentimental items? No
Deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or even the car? Yes
Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? Yes
Force you to have sex against your will? - Just the opposite actually (see below)
Force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy? - No
Insult you or call you derogatory names? Yes
Use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children? Yes
Humiliate you in front of your children? - No
Turn minor incidents into major arguments? - Yes
Abuse or threaten to abuse pets? - No
Withhold affection from you? - Yes


So am I /was I being abused?

 Re: Take the verbal abuse quiz Bluewolf030: Does your spouse or significant other:
Hit, punch, slap, shove, or bite you?  No
Threaten to hurt you or your children?  Yes
Threaten to hurt friends or family members?  Yes
Have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?  Yes
Behave in an overprotective manner?  No
Become jealous without reason?  Yes
Prevent you from seeing family or friends?  Yes at one point in time, I quit trying to see anyone years ago.
Prevent you from going where you want, when you want?  Yes
Prevent you from working or attending school?  Complains about it no matter what I do so yes
Destroy personal property or sentimental items?  No
Deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or even the car?  Threatens to have anything that is in her name disconnected as a means of control if that counts.
Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?  Yes to making me account for anything I spend, but no to total control over the finances.
Force you to have sex against your will?  No
Force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy?  No
Insult you or call you derogatory names?  Yes often
Use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children?  Yes everyday
Humiliate you in front of your children?  Yes
Turn minor incidents into major arguments?  A Great big YES
Abuse or threaten to abuse pets? No threatens to sell them though
Withhold affection from you? Yes everyday.

A surprisingly large number of yes answers. That just reconfirmed to myself why I need to go....


 Re: Take the verbal abuse quiz Alphabet Girl: I've seen this before. The first time I saw it, I saw shocked with how many yes's I had. My relationship didn't start out that way and it became worse so slowly over time that I didn't notice it until everything had become out of control. And even though that my paint my ex as an abuser, there was still plenty that I did wrong from choosing him in the first place to how I handled some of his behaviors.

There's an old thread on here about emotional manipulators. I had googled emotional abuse and pulled that up. That's how I found OJar. I haven't had to do it lately, but whenever I would find myself questioning my sanity over all this, I would pull up that thread (I copied and pasted it all onto a word document) and re-read it. It would be a good one to put in this new section.
 Re: Take the verbal abuse quiz thelovelybones: [quote author=Kitty link=topic=36315.msg386215#msg386215 date=1161184590">

Does your spouse or significant other:
Hit, punch, slap, shove, or bite you? yes
Threaten to hurt you or your children? yes,just me though,I dont have kids
Threaten to hurt friends or family members? no
Have sudden outbursts of anger or rage?yes
Behave in an overprotective manner? yes
Become jealous without reason? yes
Prevent you from seeing family or friends? yes
Prevent you from going where you want, when you want? yes
Prevent you from working or attending school? yes
Destroy personal property or sentimental items? yes
Deny you access to family assets, such as bank accounts, credit cards, or even the car? yes
Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? yes
Force you to have sex against your will? no
Force you to engage in sexual acts you do not enjoy? no
Insult you or call you derogatory names? yes
Use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children? yes
Humiliate you in front of your children?
Turn minor incidents into major arguments? yes
Abuse or threaten to abuse pets? yes
Withhold affection from you? yes

[/quote">
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