Can you be friends w/ someone you're attracted to?
My answer to the above question is no, if it's a strong attraction. Many years ago, I had a situation similar to the one I'm in now, but he was attracted to me and I was not attracted to him. The friendship just disintegrated as he became increasingly frustrated with the situation, wanting more from our friendship, while knowing that was never going to happen.
I've been friends Matt for two years, and recently I did the whole wearing my heart on my sleeve only to get socked in the arm routine. Before I start my story, just know that I am very embarrassed and ashamed of my actions-for those of you who have been cheated on. Long story short, there was what seemed to me to be a mutual flirtation going on for the past year or so. And he knew I was attracted to him-I told him because I was begining to feel incredibly awkward around him-I also told him I would never act on it. I was married at the time and he was w/his Girlfriend. He is still with her. However, he still flirts with me a lot, has invited me out for drinks (I declined), and in general has paid a lot of attention to me since my seperation. Oh, and he bitches to me about his GF! Anyway, I send him this florid gushy email and his girlfriend reads it. She sends me a NASTY reply, which she was entirely justified in doing. I know, wrong, wrong, wrong! In a way, I am glad this fiasco occured, cuz with my head out of lusts clouds, I can see him much clearer now. Do I really want anything to do with a guy who actively courts another woman while living with another one?
I don't think so! Either that or he enjoyed flirting with me as a fun way to pass the time at work and never really meant it, in which case he is an emotionally manipulative jerk who was only toying with me. Our working together, while icky, is really not as bad as it could be. I work there p/t and we wind up working together maybe one day a week. I want nothing to do with him. Let me just say I've got a past history of going after unavailable men, taken, gay, uninterested, whatever. My dad left when I was 3 and I never saw him again, and I think that did quite a number on me. So here I go on my way back to therapy to go mine the depths. I work with him on sunday. He really needs to find someone else at work to bitch to about his GF! Cuz it sure as hell isn't going to be me anymore.
Re:Can you be friends w/ someone you're attracted to? Metis: I can't. :-\
Maybe __someone__ can. I have yet to meet that someone. The one person who told me most frequently that it was possible, the one that was married to me, ended up, as it turns out, to be lying.
Re:Can you be friends w/ someone you're attracted to? skavachi: I think it is possible...but mostly not probable. I did it when I was married. She wanted more, but I was a good boy. So much for that. Should have beat the ex to the chase I suppose! good guys finish last...well, maybe they never finish....hmmmmmm. ;)
It is possible, but usually, the other person tries to take it one step furthur. So I guess the question is...can you both be friends if you are both attracted to one another?
Deep thoughts...sleep on it.