Losing respect for Ex - What do you think of this??

Losing respect for Ex - What do you think of this?? LettinGo: In the beginning (first couple weeks after he told me) I tried to be his friend, but I think I was only kidding myself. I was being nice and helpful, thinking that he will at any moment realize what he has done and lost, and come back begging for forgiveness.

Now I still try and be his friend, but I have lost all respect for him. Listen what he did yesterday - He was supposed to have his first session with his therapist (he has a huge compulsive lying problem, admitted he needed help and actually took the first step to find help) BUT he had no money for the $25 copay, so he cancelled it. He swears he will go next week.

Last night he comes to my house to bring my 7 yo a toy (trying to buy his love ... second gift in two weeks for no reason) and to show me his NEW TATTOO! HE CHARGED IT. No money for an appt with the therapist, but money for a tattoo!? Couldn't he have charged the copay then? Most offices take visa and mastercard.

So here comes the funny part ... the tattoo is a Chinese symbol for LOVE FOR HIS FAMILY. I said, "You have to be f*ing kidding me!" He tore our family apart with his lies and cheating!

Sometimes I just have to shake my head and laugh. It helps to think of how much DEBT he is getting himself into (opened FOUR new credit card accounts within one week of us separating!) because next year I will trade my minivan in for a new Trailblazer ... and he will be driving his car until my kids are out of high school (which is years away, ha ha).

He is like a complete child. It's like he hasn't learned anything the last ten years of adulthood, and he's 18 again! When I met him six years ago, his mother paid off a huge credit card bill he had which is probably why he thinks he can get away with anything.

And for some stupid reason, I admit, I still worry about him.


PS - His girlfriend, the OW, is up visiting him this week and staying in his apartment (really a motel room). Wish I could just drive by and see her! Lol.
Re:Losing respect for Ex - What do you think of this?? brokenman: He will most likely come begging forgiveness. Hey may not mean it, but he will probably do it. Prepare yourself well, know what you want to do ahead of time, and don't waiver from that plan.

My ex was scheduled for counseling when her affair was made public. Pretty funny/sad really. She told me she called to reschedule at the last minute because she had to work because somebody didn't show up for a shift. I was torn up with anxiety so I called to see if I could have the time slot if it was still open. Surprise! She never cancelled. When confronted she finally admitted that she would never, ever go to counseling. I wouldn't be surprised if your s2bx is in the same frame of mind.

And just an aside ( I don't want to hijack your thread ) I just had to relay my loss of respect/tattoo story. I have nothing against tattoos in general. I even have one on my leg. But one weekend while visiting my family my ex went out with her sister to go shopping. Our daughter and I visited with my parents. Three hours later the ex returns and starts showing off her new tattoo. It is huge symbol on the back of her neck. I was absolutely repulsed. She had gotten a small flower on her lower back when we were first married (about the same time I got mine). I was really okay with it. It was a discreet, cute personal statement. A couple years later, she had our daughter's name put across her lower back in huge letters. This one was gaudy and tacky, in my opinion. (Ugh, the thought of her OM reading my daughter's name while sexing the ex turns my stomach.) Anyway, this last one was absolutely disgusting. I just learned to ignore it, but I lost so much respect for her the day she got it. I never complained about it or said anything about it really, other than informing her that it was quite noticably off-center (unintended).

And to be nice, and get back on topic, I'd advise you just stop worrying about him. He is a big boy whether he wants to act like one or not. Just protect your finances if he is possibly going to hurt you with his actions.
 Re:Losing respect for Ex - What do you think of this?? ChrisJane: First, check to make sure these new credit card accounts don't have any connection to you....Second, if you have not filed a legal separation yet--you could be liable for 1/2 the debt he is racking up....

He has shown material things <tatoo> are more important then family. No matter what the tatoo represents you know the truth...

stay focused on the future, without him.

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