this sucks.

this sucks. feelsonumb: I'm still up, just messing around online, trying to get myself in a better mood on a friday night... Today I realized that although I've been trying to occupy myself with friends, going out, and work for the past 2.5 months, I've reached a point of loneliness.  I wish I still had him to talk to and vent to.  Yes, he hurt me and I cannot conceive of ever accepting him for what he did. But, I can't help but still wish that those things had not ever happened, and that everything was how it used to be.  Who can you vent to at 3 am on a friday night, angry about some irritating aspects of your friends and stressed about stupid little things in life and work? All I want right now is to get a little perspective and some comforting from someone who knows me extremely well, which is him. Someone to cuddle with, to realize that things in life are "ok", because I have this person who I love and want to share everything with.  I realize that I have lost that... and it sucks. :(
Re: this sucks. bethere: Me too.
Re: this sucks. hudson: Hi feelsonumb.  I know what you mean.  There is a massive void in your life where your ex used to be.  It's the kind of void that stays with you until you finally get to a point where you can find contentment and fulfillment in yourself. 

It's a major, major adjustment that certainly doesn't happen overnight.  It took me over a year before I really stopped missing my exwife.  Her absense haunted me, it followed me around everywhere I went. 

I think for me, my ex's absense and the void she left behind in my life was by far the hardest part of my divorce.  Her absense was worse than her leaving, worse than her walking away from our marriage because it became difficult, worse than her not loving or valueing me enough to stick it out through the hard times.

Hang in there, I promise you it's get's better. 
Re: this sucks. freakshow: Hi there, those feelings are all around!  I just wanted to share on the "someone to cuddle with" I got a body pillow and snuggle with it often.  Doesn't FILL the void but it helps me at least sleep a little.
Hang in there *HUGS*
Re: this sucks. allmusic76: Im sorry feels...

I know what that feels like too. Sometimes, in a relationship, we aren't just losing the love of our life, we are losing our best friend. We are losing the counsel of someone with knowledge and wisdom of our lives. Unfortunately, the only thing that replaces those things is time. Sometimes there is no substitute for experience.

I may not know you, but if you ever want to vent about life, work, friends, etc. feel free to PM me.