Re: Wife cheating -with another woman!

Re: Wife cheating -with another woman! devastated: Hi all,

Thanks for being there and listening. I helps to get it down on the screen sometimes just to help me put my thoughts and emotions down on paper.

This morning we spoke again. She told me she would be meeting the other woman at a park today -to end it she says. I can see that she's still emotionally attached and hurt from both sides and it really pains me to see her this way.

Anyhow, I told her that the ball was actually in HER court. Its not enough to tell me she'll end it with the other woman and tell me its up to me to decide on the relationship's future. I told her that I still loved her, very much so, but it was up to her to end it, or decide how she wants this to go on. I only asked that she be honest with me and not put me in the position again to be hurt. She says her biggest regret is that she did something so foolish and that she could hardly believe it herself.

All I know right now is that I do want to give this marriage another chance, to slowly work on our problems, to mend and strengthen that which has been broken. Assuming she really does want all these things, she will have to prove it (how, I don't know). Damnit, I want to believe that the woman I made just committed a MISTAKE, a one-off mistake and will not feel like she's lost something significant and want to continue the affair. Mistakes I can forgive, but not when it is done intentionally the second time.
Re: Wife cheating -with another woman! devastated: Quick question:

Will it do any good to confront the OW, either warn her to back off else tell her the "if you truly care for her, you'll make this a lot less painful and difficult by just going away and never contacting her again"

Else I can always threaten her with exposure, I know where she works, stays and even which church she attends.

It would make ME feel better, and really, I had a very strong urge to head down to the office today to do it, but would it serve any (useful) purpose?

 Re: Wife cheating -with another woman! devastated: Thanks guys. I think I'll go with NewJerseyDevil's advice and channel my energy to my marriage rather than to the OW. The scum's not worth it.

Anyway, WS returned from work today and said the OW told her today she was on the verge of resigning from the company. I just said I'll believe it when I see it. Wife's still a bit cool and distant towards me, oh well, I'll have to learn to live with it for now. Good thing I have you guys for support!  ;D
 Re: Wife cheating -with another woman! Cherry: True but sometimes it stays festering like a sore unless you do something.  Im not saying start throwing fists or anything but him speaking his piece....dont see how bad that could be.

Then again I didn't do it because I knew deep down in my heart we were irretrievably broken. 

There is something to be said for accountablility.
 Re: Wife cheating -with another woman! NewJerseyDevil: [quote author=devastated link=topic=38224.msg422296#msg422296 date=1166086239">
Quick question:

Will it do any good to confront the OW, either warn her to back off else tell her the "if you truly care for her, you'll make this a lot less painful and difficult by just going away and never contacting her again"

Else I can always threaten her with exposure, I know where she works, stays and even which church she attends.

It would make ME feel better, and really, I had a very strong urge to head down to the office today to do it, but would it serve any (useful) purpose?

[/quote">

Personally, I don't see what good it would do.

I look at it this way- work on your relationship with your wife, and if your relationship becomes strong enough, then she won't want to go outside your marriage again, no matter who might try to tempt her along the way. I just think your energy could be more productive if you channeled it towards your marriage rather than venting on the OW. There's plenty of ways to deal with that anger that don't involve direct confrontation.

Just my $.02
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