Just another manic monday
I watched Great Expectations last night---not the dating service or the old classic--but the updated version with Ethan Hawke and G. Paltow. Not bad.
I struggled through sleep. And I'm now on here--already late for work.
I woke up thinking about her and wishing it wasn't a work day. I miss her. Not sure why I miss her.
She doesn't love me.
She doesn't value me as a person anymore.
She is probably dating someone else.
She may never have loved me.
And yet I still care. And I still want to be next to her in bed, spooning her and whispering in her ear.
Is it separation anxiety? An unknown kubler-ross phase that I'm going through?
Not sure. I do know that life goes on. And it's taking me with it---regardless of the state I'm in.
Cloud
Re:Just another manic monday Kinney26: hey cloud
at work so I can't stay on
Of couse I had a dream last night that the ex took me back and we were hugging and kissing, so of course I am depressed this morning
I think I have separation anxiety out the ass
She feel nothing for me, like you were saying, but of course I still have feelings for her
Well it should be a great day, we meet with the attorney
again this evening
Re:Just another manic monday cloud: I haven't had any dreams like that...and I'm hoping that I don't. I have had similiar dreams and there is nothing worse than waking up and separating the dream from reality.
Since you have another run-in with your ex with the lawyer today, I guess we'll get an update tonight.
I'm sure I'll be on.
Unless she calls/emails, I should ex free today in terms of having to deal with her or communicate with her.
I think it's a good thing because it doesn't get the rollercoaster of emotion going.
Cloud
Re:Just another manic monday Kntno: Morning all. I'm at work too and just wanted to drop a quick note. You'll also have to forgive me because I'm new at this.
I totally understand your feelings Cloud. Yours too Kinney. I have those same feelings.
My heart too longs for my ex. Right now I'm at work, so my head can do the thinking for a while. See, the heart see's the past as rose color. The heart remembers the times in the past when everything was good. All the spooning. All the kisses and hugges. What we forget is all the bad times. Things weren't perfect. Things weren't wonderful. Those are the things we should focus on. The things that drove us nuts. The things that make us angry.
When I went to consuling years ago for something, they suggested that I wear a rubber band around my wrist. I think the tactic could be applied here. Anytime, I feel longing or love for my ex, to snap the band. After time, that pain will be associated with those memories those feelings and we won't want to remember them anymore.
Something to think about (I've read to much Zen). I know I want to cry here too but as you stated life goes on.
Nicholas
Re:Just another manic monday Druid13: Cloud...your feeling of wanting to be with you r ex are natural. I felt the same way for a long time. I missed waking up in the morning with her. Making Coffee on the weekends with her. Sitting around watching movies with her, going to the Mall with her etc etc etc. Since she has remarried I don't feel the same way. But....I still have dreams at times about her and places we lived...it is hard. Of course in my dreams she becomes the person I knew and loved....which makes waking up more difficult. I have not talked face to face with her in months. Everything is email. And we only discuss my daughter....she had said at one point she hoped we could be friends in the future but I feel friends do not do what she did. Not real friends...maybe I am wrong about that....
