Another post about dreams brokenman: Well, here it is almost a year to the day that my marriage went over the edge. Coincidentally, the first entry in my day log for the problems we were having is Sept. 11th of last year. A day when my ex's father came to spend the day with our daughter (he is ex military and thinks it important to spend that day with her). That night my ex stayed out late with her OM and recorded their "first kiss" in her journal.
I have been through the rollercoaster of emotions. The past few months have been calm, re-energizing and increasingly terrific. My life is changed, I have adjusted and I am moving on. I have not given a single wistful thought or dwelled on my ex in a long time. That is, until this week... when I started dreaming again.
I am pretty sure that these dreams are invading my sleep because of the anniversary of these horrible events arriving. The weather is the same as it was last year and the memories are lurking under the surface. They are bothersome dreams. They do not leave me longing for her return or fearful of the past events. They are simply disturbing and restless. I awake in the morning recalling all of the ways I am better off without her now. All day I find myself remembering portions of these dreams and pointing out how wrong she was. So, I don't end up longing for anything or fretting anything... I just end up thinking about her. And I don't like it.
For instance, last night I dreamt that my daughter and I were visiting the Ex's parents. Things were fine, but my ex and her OM were always in the adjacent room. I would go outside and she and her OM were on the other side of the house. They weren't there, but they were always there. It was just annoying. The whole time I had the idea that my ex wanted to talk to me. My ex's father wanted to ignore that there was a problem and my ex's step mother wanted my ex and her OM to leave. I wanted my ex to go away, but I didn't feel anything about her OM. I guess he would just go away if she did. So eventually, my daughter and I decided to leave. But I kept going back in the house for things or to continue conversation.
So here I am today thinking little things about her. How much better off I am today, how glad I am that I don't have to deal with her, and how I am a different person when she is not around to affect me. These are all good things, but I am thinking in terms of "her" and that is bothersome.
What is the point of all this writing? Well, mainly to get it off my chest. Next, as kind of an insight into "a year later" for newbies. Lastly, it would be interesting to hear what kind of dreams other people are having whether they are in the immediate divorce stages or later on down the road.
Re:Another post about dreams Druid13: My divorce was final in Dec . I had not had any dreams for awhile till this past weekend. I had a dream involving my ex...and an old house we used to live in...and I've had dreams with the dog I used to own. Everytime this happens it brings me down. I have tried to not think about her during the day...but I have no control over what hapens when I sleep. I know my duaghter has told me she has had dreams with me involved as well. Some of them weird kid's dreams that make no snese logically but it must be her mind trying to work things out I guess. Alot of the time the plots to dreams on't make much sense....she said I was battling with these weird inbred creatures in her dream. Like I said they don't always make snese but since I see her once a week maybe her mind is trying to work things out over all the changes that have happened in all our lives somehow.
Re:Another post about dreams recentlydiscarded: my husband and I have only been seperated a little over 2 weeks but I have had some really vivid dreams this past week. A few nights ago I had three dreams in one night all where I caught him with another woman. I spent the entire next day feeling sick and depressed. I even broke down and called him, crying on the phone. A definite no no.
Last night I had a dream that he called and asked me and my son to come home and that he loved us too much to abandon us. We went home and he embraced me kissing me and holding me close. We all cried together and he said he loved us a lot. I woke up in the middle of the dream to see my son laying in the bed next to me in the bed, still in my parents house, still without his daddy. I tried desperately to go back to sleep and continue the dream, not wanting to let go.
Today I feel sad and confused yet again and Im still hoping I will wake up from this nightmare any minute.
Re:Another post about dreams Kinney26: I had a dream just a couple nights ago that me and the stbx got back together and we were kissing and hugging. Needless to say, I was extremely depressed when I woke up.
Re:Another post about dreams amess: Brokenman, if it's any help, they say that you can be going along pretty well, and that people are usually surprised that at the one yr mark, they fall apart. That the one year mark is as hard as the beginning. The good news is that the one yr mark feelings don't stick around for long.
