STBX came over last night Bubba: Well, as I pointed yesterday my stbx was coming over to discuss things. We went over whom gets what, and over the separation agreement. She was there for about 4 hours. So it comes out that yes a part of her still does love me. That a part of her still wants me. That she has missed the past 3 weeks we have been separated. That sometimes she wakes up and asks herself "what the hell am I doing?". That she has thought about reconciling. That she has thought about calling me to talk about working things out. Of course my response was "if that is all true, then why would you buy a house with Scumbag?" No answer to that one!
So I couldn't help myself I had to ask some questions. Like do you think I deserve what you have done? Answer: No. Do you think I would have ever done this to you? Answer: No. Do you realize I would have loved you forever and supported you no matter what, like I always have? Answer: yes. So you gave up that for a guy whom did not support his wife. Whom cheated on his wife. Whom had no quams about breaking up a young family. Good choice.
When you were sick I was always there to help. When you were stressed I was always there. When anything went wrong, I was there. I was pallbearer at your grandfathers funeral. I was there for you when your parents divorced. I was there when you father remarried a person you hated. I was there to help you stand up to your mother. I was there taking care of any problems that arouse, be it from them time you thought you were having a miscarriage to the time when you burnt your hand. I was always there.
I said all of the above to her, and all she could do was agree, and cry. I said to her, that is the big different between me and Scumbag. I am independent, strong willed, confident, resoureful. Scumbag is a mommy's boy. He never lived on his own. He went from his mommy's house to being married, then a month at mommy's house to moving in with you. He parents still pay his debts because he cannot manage his own money, not that he makes that much. Well you always thought that you would end up being married to someone you would have to take care of, I guess you are getting your wish. Because for the past 11.5 years I have always taken care of you, and our family. Scumbag can't even take care of himself. Once again Good Choice.
Then I openned the door for her and she left.
Re:STBX came over last night amess: Whoa, Bubba, that was a mouthful, and well done. Sounds very emotional. How do you feel now?
Re:STBX came over last night Shattered: I bet as the words were coming out of your mouth you were dying inside and I bet that when you saw her again for the first time in a while you fell straight back in love with her all over again, and your ex telling you she said she missed you and still loved you gave you hope that one day you would be back together again.....
.....The question isn't do you still want her back
.......The question is could you ever trust her again?
Re:STBX came over last night Druid13: This sounds so familiar. Althought there were times I could have been better there were a ton of things I was slefless about with my ex. I asked her "what did you ever want to do that I said no to?"...no reply. I was a pallbearer as well for her relatives. The thing is once someone has gone outside of the relationship ( in her case a guy who was married to someone he never loved- got married to get married-and stayed for three years) you are a distinct disadvatage with it all. That is how I am. I just try to move on and live a better life. I told her numerous times...I never could have done this to you. She always had some smart alleck reply to that. Once someone has gone over that line....infidelity...it is completely unbalanced and unfair...she actually was telling me at this point ( keep in mind I was crushed confused etc) .."I wish you would find somone"....what?
Re:STBX came over last night Bubba: Fall back into love with her? When did I say I ever stopped loving her? I will always love my sbtx. No matter the pain she has caused. No matter the horrible things she has and is doing. However, that does not mean I would take her back. It does not mean I will allow her to play me like a fool.
No. That part of my life is closed. I am starting a new chapter, and in the end I will be just fine. I don't want her back. At least not now. I will likely never lock the door to reconcilation. But it has been shut pretty tight for now. I don't know what the future holds, but I know I will be happy one way or another. I am not like my stbx whom needs someone to take care of me. I can, and always have taken care of myself. And I am more then capable of raising my son. Who knows, perhaps in a 6 or 8 months, my stbx and I will both want to reconcile. But at this point....there is just no way in hell.
