Even though you know that..... atalose: deep down it's really over between the two of you how are you suppose to emotionally let go?
Me and the stbx have been doing alot of talking over the phone discussing a settlement between us (which I believe we're both satisfied with finally), but just talking to him makes me realize though I've moved on (by moving out) that emotionally I'm still tied to him.
I can't make sense out of him or the situation any more. He wanted the divorce, says it's for no other reason besides we argue too much, says he still loves me but this is all for the best. okay......
I've done my best to accept and adjust but I still love him so very much.
While talking the other day things were said between us that I just dont understand, I know the divorce will happen but theres a part of me that thinks "Hell,I don't know!" that we could still have a relationship to some degree. Maybe I should explain.....
Despite everything that has happened these past 4 months I still love my husband and even though were so close to finalizing the divorce I know that with him is where I belong and want to be.
Ive tried to be as unemotional as I could be with him or around him but at that moment on the phone I told him how I really felt and I was blown away by him.
I told him how at first every night I use to cry, that I thought of him constantly and that I was an emotional wreck. I told him how here lately the day can pass where I give him no thought or when I do I remember with a smile not pain. I told him I do miss him and that there have been times that I wanted to call him, to see him, to be with him but that I knew it was over and that he made the choice to have a life without me.
He told me that there has been times when he wanted to call me but thought it was probably best if he didnt, he told me that he still loves me and always will and that he also misses me and that If I ever wanted to call him he would be there for me. He said he would never turn me away.......
Re:Even though you know that..... atalose: He said that he also would like to see me and spend some time with me but said hes working alot of over time right now but next week it should slow down and that he'd like to give me a call.
Its been so long since we've been together that we both admitted that we would both probably be nervous, I told him maybe I could bring over a six pack and maybe watch some t.v for awhile but I know whats both on our minds.
He's made commets to me in the past when he first brought up divorce that he would like for us to be able to have some kind of relationship because he wants no other and that were use to eachother, and some things were always good between us.
It all sounds so stupid......., and at first I thought he wanted his cake and to eat it to but now 4 months down the road I'm starting to think like him. Are we both crazy or just confused about how we feel?
I always thought yea, sure he might want to have sex with me until he meets someone that he might actually be interested in and then toss me away like used goods and no I wasnt setting myself up for that extra pain and humiluation but now.......I know what I want, how I still feel about him but am I stupid too?
I actually discussed this with my mother, and she says if I wanted to see him it was no ones business but mine and that no one needs to know. But to also remember I might end up getting hurt more than I am now.
geez does anyone know how I feel? Has anyone gone through this before? I feel so stupid I'm sorry.
Re:Even though you know that..... SugarSweet: Dear atalose,
I am going to keep my reply short. As I don't think that I know exactly what you are feeling, but I understand it. Both you and your Mom have a point.
What I really wanted to say was, never apologize for your feelings. You are entitled to them, and they do not make you stupid.
K~
Re:Even though you know that..... cloud: Let's cut to the chase.
There are three scenarios I see:
You guys get together and you're able to carry on this new relationship without any issues or baggage and the divorce still goes forward (this is doubtful).
You guys get together and one of you (more likely you) will feel a lot of emotions from it and want to reconcile but he won't and you'll be hurt even more.
You guys get together and you both decide to reconcile from it---and it either works or doesn't work out. Trust me, just getting together will not fix your relationship. So if you get together and then want to reconcile, go to counseling and start talking to each other--ALOT--about everything.
Just my two cents.
